DuN uSe SucH sTrOnG wOrDs,.. U WiLL OnLy bE sEeN aS wEaK..

2007-07-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

hmm. things been rather smooth sailing i guess. work, frens and all. driving rocks. i miss my daytona and my **** ****. SE nv cfm with me. so bo bian. stick to current job though is on and off. but heck. got money can alr. hols is a few weeks. or rather 1 month plus. but its sure damn fast. a lot of things gona happened. haha. can;t wait. too many alr. woohoo..

anyways to lala, i deleted your comment. rude? maybe. if u say i am useless, wad about u? at least people know who i am when i leave tags. at least i know who left tags. u? lala? hw childish. u boy or girl or primary sch kid? its easy to trace u, u know?

bored?

2007-07-04T03:55:00.000+08:00

too bored alr bah. things happen and stuff.
i'm tired.
i tried.
i failed.
i fell.
i gave up.
i can't kick smoking.
i feel terrible every 2 to 3 days with a stick.
i am itching to smoke.
i no longer miss her.
i no longer love her.
i think there is someone else i like.
i think she is a good catch.
i think she wun like me.
i think i will fail.
i think i might not do so well for my retest.
i think i am afraid.
i think i am suffering from depression.
i think i am suffering from insomnia.
i think i might be left alone.
i think my house is nth less than a place for me to rest.
i think i am tired.
dat's all.

long long time ago

2007-06-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

a lot of shit happened la. things like driving and all. failed IMGT fuck sia. nv do too well for my common tests. ass. sian. bored. screwed. fucked.

i puke just by having 3 in a row. how pathetic. wad a pathetic loser u r, logan. life sucks. i can't find any way out of it. its not like any one can help me with it. its my own problem this time round. no point getting others involved. so for now. i shall remain a loser. ciaos.

boring emo.

2007-06-17T01:38:00.000+08:00

boring days. nth much happened. just driving lessons and meeting jeff up for arcade. been emo for a few days. ya. life sucks when u r in my shoes right now. although some bud of mine said that its easy to solve and all. sorry. i dun agree. i just can;t do it. can;t solve it. get it? the problem lies with me. and myself. dat's all. end of story.

lamb of god, have mercy on us.

been a bloody long week.,

2007-06-11T19:34:00.000+08:00

finally the bloody COMMON Tests are over. haha. nt to mention the bloody qla pull stunt on us. we all kinda died. asshole sia. then the rest was okie i guess. though i kinda studied. i kinda knew wad to study but i nv get them into my head. i tink its my part to blame bah. haha. and not to forget last paper the night before i couldn't sleep due to coffee. asshole never drink kopi peng gao at 12 midnight. till 4 still cannot get to sleep.. haha. feel sibei energised. and wed de paper. funny la. morning go arcade with jeff. then lunch with his gf and another girl then go sch for paper. like so relaxing cans? haha.

6 june. cursed day la. i tio warning for low attendence for jap lessons. KAN NI NA ONE cans? chee bye. i attended every bloody lesson for god sake. except i late about 30 mins or 20 mins everytime nia mah. give chance cannot ah? dun start lesson so early la. get the bloody land authorities to change clementi and remove the bloody stupid traffic light at the ITE there. add 2 more bloody lanes and ease the bloody traffic there. the jam can kill at times u know? chee bye. nabei la. sian de lo. since then. my view and impression of JAP persons changed alr. i now prefer local goods. local girls in case u still dun get wad i mean. haha.

then this weekend nv work. think my sales too bad liao. fatass dun wan me to work anymore or so. but then she said standby. also good la. can rest from sentosa trip. nabei jeff bang me from behind during luge. asshole one him. so pain cans? but nvm la. i dun hate him so much, brother afterall. then suntanning was nth much. nt so happening. but still we enjoyed. then headed to vivo walk walk with pretty girl jeraldine who joined us later. then after it went to bedok for ba chor mee. and bbq wings. sibei nice lo. thanks wenshan arh. though i doubt u will read this. but nonetheless. thanks. haha. had beer with jeff and sat a long ride home. 67, then 157. fierce please. haha.

weekend sat went out at 5 plus to go meet jeff and another person from our course de. then arcade and went to eat mad jack. the lamb sibei nice please. haha. though a bit of fire for the pocket part but then worth it i guess. haha. i will sure go back de. no worries. but i wan holland first cans? i miss my hiao hiao. haha.

today de sch outing kan ni na de sian. go tiger brewing factory, then cannot drink tiger. sians cans? drink coke. then second place to go. coke factory. notice the irony? asshole la. darn unfair to those above 18 de. ass. wasted. i so wanna get kilkenny now. haha. looks good to me eh. haha. then just now after program went to parklane again. jeff me and laoda. daytona like no tomorrow. haha.. 20 laps leh. plus turbo. 50 cents nia. so bloody cheap. outrun2 also 50 cents if i nv rmb wrongly. cheap cheap cheap. then today also duno why. got meimei. song boh. haha. worth it liao. earned liao. haha. anyways shall end here and stuffs. peeps. if u r reading. please. please. go drink sometime soon. other than the zouk one on 13. holland village for **** **** cans? i miss her. haha. till then, rock on bah.

another week had passed

2007-06-04T00:16:00.000+08:00

another bloody week had passed. a lot happened. stuff like having a bloody stupid exam on fri and made me sibei tired and getting so drunk only after a few cups of vodka with some fruit punch on laoda de bday and stuff like that. i rmb puking like siao on wed. that seriously sucks. i failed to be like before. i am supposed to be stronger but i am not. it just feels like my body is wearing me down. ciggs drinking and all. all like wearing me down alr. how? bo bian lo.

tbc de fatass called me eh. and before that went for a stupid ice cream de job interview and then bo reply. then fatass called me to go work on sat for samsung at causeway point. then a lot happened la. i nv receive trg and i dun even have phone to show customer. no phone to play around no answers to give customer if any thing happened. so lot of things happened la. and dealer quote own price de. so i seriously have no say or stuff like that. i dun even know hw to answer at times. anyways supposed to work one day nia. but worked two days instead. never hit target. wad to expect i nv go trg or stuff eh. got the feeling fatass is playing me la. but still heck her lo. hope she get complain and die. anyways nt bad la. got some one hundred odd bucks coming in this month. song boh. haha. anyways shall end here. gg to wash up and burn oil and study for my common test tmr alr. tests here i come. may i pass like no tmr. and esther, i am cute one cans? and gatsby is forever cute coz gt cute people using it okies?

its been long

2007-05-27T00:08:00.000+08:00

been sibei long since i last updated i know. a lot happened this week and logan is sick and tired of it. skip all days and say friday for example. mom pissed me off early in the morning. then go school someone in class pissed me and raymond off. if i dun have to do project with this guy, long ago alr take everything and scold against him alr. but too bad. tolerate lo. i hate him cans?? seriously hate him. then went hunt for laoda de bday present and took down the model number and stuff. bought a bball for him and stuff. great singapore sales is on now. gentlemen, chiong the sales please. haha. dun let the sales down the drain and chiong everything b4 GST rises.

anyways, headed town with jeff and his girlfriend. and shopped and bought a shirt from levis. considering some jeans which i find is dirt cheap as promotion is now on. and a lot more. i so wanna buy long sleeve. more tee shirts. more berms. more shoes. more accessories. i wanna pierce ear. get spects. have a new look. i wanna buy the new gatsby rubber. so much things i wanna buy. a good deodurant/colonge. maybe a bicycle too. i need a hobby. a sport an excerise. i need to cut down weight u know? haha. more shopping shall come after the common tests. jobs too. well, for that time we shall all prepare. till then..

sian

2007-05-21T02:29:00.000+08:00

been long since i last updated. wasn;t in the very good mood recently. due to same old problems with my mom. haha. quitted smoking but then re pick it up again. so much so for my 2 weeks of effort. all gone down the drain. its wasted i know. but no choice la. i needed a break. bloody ass from 02 put my aeroplane on fri to go drink. then bud aeroplane me on sun. SIAN. thurs got drunk a little with gay buddy paul at canal. chivas and pepsi. smoked over 10 ciggs. too fed up. too pissed. too angry. too much to vent it out. i;m not a happy kid. i'm nt happy. i'm not. then, kept sharing ciggs with neighbour and stuff. haha. its just gotten worse i know. so much for me to handle and all. at least things are kinda better the way there are right now. little communication with mom. black face all the time. save up all the conflicts and war. sounds pretty good ain;t it? but still i dread home none the less and hope very much that i could move out or so. so much so for this week. emo week bah. haha. i just hope to bloody find weekend jobs and earn a lot of money. that way i can do a lot things which i wanted to do. like go chiong, shopping, buy stuffs. and i so wanna join in the subaru wrx challenge cans? i wan to win. i wan a car. i wan money to afford a car. i wan a car. i wan to be looked upon at. not to be looked down. who likes to be looked down at? no one. if u dun like to be look down at. dun look down at people but then once again. how could u not? when they given up every hope on u. maybe i was in the wrong. maybe i am too petty. there are too much maybes alr..

now, i just have to learn to relive my old life and try to be someone when i am no one. gotten a bit complicated eh? haha. never mind. sometimes trying too hard will have aderse effects too. i wanna have outings like no tomorrow. i also wan to have someone to love and stuff. but the ones i love dun love me. money is running low. family dun look like family. how? the pieces kinda dun fit anymore eh. its not like wad u all think. so many things happened. in the past, be it family, friends, environment. if only i could just turn back time and stopped every damn thing. i can assure u. i will be more of a happy kid. but i can't. and i wun be. dat's the reality. that's the fact. i have to face. gotten this from somewhere " if your life ain;t fucked up, u dun haf a life". kinda agree to it. look, i got a life. and its fucked up. see the point? haha.

finally got mood to chiong study for marketing and opc. but then. its alr the dawn of monday itself. see the irony? i dun haf the mood for stuffs like that. haha. OPC i nv touch at all. laters bah. the 2 hour break. let's all pray we get thru this in one piece and nothing else. haha.

and ya. shirley, u were right back then. sure i am pissed and stuff. but i tink ur words make sense. "u can never afford smoking". those words of urs still echo in my mind, my brain. i get ur point now. no doubt i am running low on cash due to cigg. no doubt. but somehow, i still believe in 'when there is a will, there is a way" haha. stubborn i know. difficult to change me. dat's for real. i just hope ppl can change. can't u sense it? when logan wans to get out, he needs to get out. so please. dun bloody put aeroplane. and sometimes esther, i prefer not to know wad is gg on. haha. maybe i'm not popular, not nice to get along with. but then, if so, why can't let me know? at least it beats knowing that guys still prefer going out with boobs rather than dicks. get my point? if so, it kinda defeat the existence of the word brotherhood.

so much so for now. ranted enough. for now that is. lets see wad this week might bring. wad surprises will it unfold. tests tests tests. deadlines exams tests hols. driving. stressed. give me 2 packs cans? =x

sian

2007-05-15T18:58:00.000+08:00

logan is feeling lousy and pissed recently. how? i duno.sighs

bleah

2007-05-12T10:57:00.000+08:00

bleah. nothing much happened these few days. just same old shit and i skipped lcom lecture again. KNN. this time nt so heng alr. receive email fromn lecturer. sians. tink i am so gonna die. ass. see how lo. cannot late for lecture or stuff like that alr.. too bad la. i was tempted to go out with ray, gary, jeff, jiajing, wanyun, joyce. no guys were left in the lecture le mah. sighs. too bad. hope he bloody buys my lousy reason. haha. esther sucks too la. say wanna come then nv come. lousy eh. dengue dengue. sians one cans? last week or so chatted with julye online and catch up some stuffe le bah. she is still like that. haha. and i miss her dearly too. sians one cans? weekends are coming again and i dunno wad to do sian. tests and projects deadlines are all coming and i am so gonna be dead and stuff. can die one cans? i hope things will turn out okie.

NY, faster end ur bloody exams and let's meetup. miss u sibei lots. haha. best buddy bah. so many things to tell u and i tink u have many to tell me too. sians. see hw much u gona change from then till now. haha. too bored alr. logging off. anyways happy mothers day or so. bringing my mom to eat. burn hole in pocket. song liao. haha. ciaos.

boring.

2007-05-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

ass. earlier draft was deleted away coz my mozilla hang. never mind. in short. nth much happened these few days and ya. i am going back to driving lesson on next tues. and i stopped smoking alr. for a week and a day. good luck in kicking the smoking shit. anyways. went for the interview by my job agent and kinda screwed it up a little on tues. hope everything turns out fine. just wan a bloody job on weekends and hope the pay is sibei good one. haha. best is i can do back handphone. coz. handphone gt a lot of ways to earn money. and ya. trg turns me off. unless they pay us too to train us then i dun see the harm in turning up for the trg provided. anyways school's been the same with the same peeps around and the lectures as always, boring. just hope tmr can mahjong or wad so ever. before i settle down and chiong my projects. haha. lazy bum i know. but ya. shall end here. tired alr. tues de taka trip shall fill u guys in some other days. till then. stay alive and kicking and see u ard in sch.

boring.

2007-05-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

Weekends are boring I seriously gotta admit. This just sucks. Movies wun be enough to satisfy me. Its not like the past where watching a few downloaded movies at home would help to kill time. Its just something is lacking. I just dun feel right doing so. Not the illegal issue but something else. I seriously dunno. Something is missing bah.

These 2 days been thinking a lot. A lot had dawned on me. Those good old days. Can I relive them? I miss so many things seriously. I know I mentioned it in my previous posts and stuff. But I seriously miss the old life I had and I know life would never be the same again. If only things were as simple as it had used to be. I wun be struggling to find answers. It gotten complicated as time grows u know? And I am giving u up alr. So many things I am gonna give up. No doubt I suck at this. But I am gona be strong and live the life it is as of now and face reality and facts like u will never be with me, u can never be mine. Facts like I would be a very more or less loner and stuff like that. I’m trying to change u know? Or rather. Even changes wun affect the way things are as of now. Its hard. I wanna run away from u. I dun wan to see u. u know? So wad if I seems to have a lot of friends and buddies? I still feel empty. Ass. I miss my ice cream boss, everyone there. Things ain;t the same alr. Sighs. If only things could remain the way they were used to be. But we humans know that things are forever changing and I have yet to change accordingly. Sighs.

Nonetheless, I am trying very hard to get a job. Agent called me down this tues for interview again. So, ya. Gona hope can find a stable weekend job. Hopefully, one with high pay and flexible hours. I am so dread of gg interview. Sure hair cannot make it or stuffs like that. And I dun wan to do flyers alr. Sick of it. I know its irony that I keep complaining I wan the old life I lived. But definitely not flyers. They kill me please. Driving lessons are another week. So bloody long. Haha. It seems I am gona forget about how to bloody start a car alr. Win liao. I dunno la. Too long nv touch car alr. At any rate, just hope the agent that side gt good news lo. At least gt more income is a good thing. Save up for the raining weather. Haha

Its been like 5 days since I last smoked. This time, I hope I can kick it away. My stamina would be the second thing to take care of alr. Sian. I dun tink I gt a lot of stamina left. Back to square one. Haha just wish me luck in the interview and quitting of smoking bah.

wah

2007-05-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

sibei long nv update alr. psps. too lazy and stuff like that. tues was a public holiday and had mahjong session with my sec sch de buddies. lost like siao. haha. totally no luck at all. lost some 13 bucks. sians. coz dat day morning mom at there kbkp. make things worse nia. then i ji tao is no mood to play alr. sians la. just hope mom next time dun make noise when i wanna go play mahjong. seriously affects one's concentration and luck. when u can;t concentrate, luck wun come and u will lose big time small time everytime. dat's why i lost. ass.

wed went back to sch as per normal and celebrated huijoo de bday. happy 18 bday for u eh though tink u will read this rundown blog of mine. but then once again, after this yr, all can go clubbing alr. go chiong and hook up guys/girls and be drunk. dead drunk. oh man. seriously can;t wait for this yr to faster pass. lousy sem is a different matter. haha.

mahjong losses for the week was later changed to profits. thanks to esther, gary and wenqi. thurs after lesson, i went for jap remedial lessons with amanda, or rather a date with her. LOL. she rocks cans? still as cute and stuff. i love her deep but then cannot tell her one. haha. about some 50 mins she helped me coz she gt lecture and we had miscommunication and stuff like that. darn funny pls. then headed to esther's place for mahjong. LOL. best mahjong session in my entire life. i can't forget it. LOL. the BEST sia. they were all too nice to be conned and bluffed. esp gary who always tink i am doing special special shit, then scare the girls and then they throw others tiles and i mahjong-ed. song-ness. if only esther's dad dun come home so early. i tink i can make gary lose more. but nvm. mahjong is like that. u win and u lose. so the next time we play, i could very well lose a lot. and i tink i know why alr. coz esther mom's nt around somehow i feel that age group de people around i will lose money. lol. (no offenses to esther's mom eh). i'm more like saying that it is the case in my house haha. plus i was lucky. seriously lucky. too bad i dun have a 'stable' religion or else i ji tao can go give thanks or provide offerings and stuff like that. rings are a curse. they make people lose money. haha.

bloody fri. bloody phone haha. hung at 518. supposed to wake up at 533 to prepare and help mom open stall but i didn;t. and i slpt till 9. song boh. i had to skip lab and it was too over the time alr. then went to sch as per normal lo. but sad to say. have to do makeup for the lab lesson. nonetheless, there's someone acc-ing me. esther yeo. lol. she rocks. skipping everything. win alr. too bad. maybe next week then i skip fri de lessons bah still not sure yet. sians. faith finally called me. next week gg for interview. wish me luck peeps. i might be working again. ahha. and ya. weekend is here and i am so dead. gona rot but dunno where. anwyays, here is one pic i feel good of. hehehe. wenqi dun hate me. esther too. gary too.

logan is cool cans?

2007-04-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

eh dudes. i am cool. here is the proof:

QIS says:
me n my sis have different kind of suitors
QIS says:
she attracts ah bengs
QIS says:
x=
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
win liao
QIS says:
i attract man
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
say i ah beng
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
Z
QIS says:
x=
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
point to u middle finger
QIS says:
ah beng is cool ok.!
QIS says:
_I_
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
u say de ah
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
therefore i am cool
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
=x
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
yeah
this was never my world, you take the angels away. says:
logan is cool

haha, i love wenqi to loadsla. hahahahahahaha.

eventful week bah..

2007-04-29T21:06:00.000+08:00

this week is rather spent in a unhappy manner, in a way or another. a lot of things happened like how much i wanna go drinking but can't, how some classmates behaviour turn me off. how someone in class can be so annoying and on my nerves, how i am easily pissed by that someone. it seems i am losing my sanity, my temper and all. i'm pissed like hell. not by the drinking matter. by him. okie. let me make it clear. u r getting on my nerve. stop asking me questions like no tomorrow. i am alr suay enough to be in the same IS with u this time round. fucking japanese. fuck u. i dun fucking take steriod. i dun like u to be saying me and stuff like that. i hate u cans? fuck it all. and the most important shit. i dun fucking need someone to lecture me on why i should not smoke and all. other lecture me fine. u lecture me? go to hell please. it is not as if u know a lot about wad i am going thru and wad i was thinking. its not like i can confide in u and stuff. i have enough of you alr. go drinking u might say i nv ask u along. fuck it. u dun even drink. wad's with gg to pubs and ordering fruit punch and then claiming that its darn bloody expensive. wad's with ur patience? ordering food and expecting it to come immediately. pls la. have some common sense cans? liew. or is it u dun even have it? i just had enough, asking me tutorials qns like no tmr, bugging me like no tmr. i am nt jap pro. i am nt a nerd. i am nt like peiqi. i dunno a lot of things can? to hell with ur bloody religion. (no offence to those same religion as his). to the hell with u. fuck. i know. drinking is bad enough. smoking is bad too. i dun need someone to tell me hw my stamina dropped. i know it myself cans? kan ni na. make me more pissed. its not like i dun haf the common sense to even know that my own stamina dropped. and its at a frightening rate. i'm tired from just 20 mins of basketball or so. so wad? to the hell with u. i am not fit. i am a smoker. i am a drinker. so? does it let u have the right to comment or rather lecture on wad i am doing and stuff like dat? u can't even handle your own life well. let alone handling others. and to add misery, i'm doing a project with u. now how does dat sound? screw everything.

thursday played bball. and stuffs happened. i had to smoke. i can't carry on playing. everything was different after a full cigg. i'm addicted. or rather, i depend on it for energy and stuff. this is bad i know. others can lecture me. but i wun wan u to come around and lecture me okie? i had enuff of this particular guy. friday nth much happened. drinking session cancelled. sians cans? then sat went shopping with mom and bought berms. and some clothes. and went drinking with her. song boh? i went to drink with my mom at hooters. a nice place at clark quay with hot pants and butts waitress. nonetheless, drank little. but i still puked. fuck. it seems i can;t drink very much from now on either. my eyes were red. i puked till my stomach/lungs burnt. ass. this is the worse puking i had. and i only puked once. thank god. and my mom dun know about it. or else i will be so dead. a lot of things happened and i am stressed from it all. i need some more smoking and i know its bad. my buddies can persuade me i dun mind. but here i go once and for all. matt, stop lecturing me alr. or rather save your breath, i wun listen to u. i hate ur religion and stuffs related to it. no offence. i'm saying ur name coz i know u wun visit my blog and stuff. matt. i had enough. i am not a nerd and stuff. i know i always been the one telling others. gt other ways rather than this and this or stuff like dat. i just like the smoking feeling and stuff. i dun need u to remind me of my misery and stuff. get a life and stop bugging abt wad i am doing and related stuff. okie? i am alr quite pissed with u. dat's all for now.

sucks cans?

2007-04-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

everything is falling into pieces. things dun fit like the way they should. i have begun to find new frens. i need new frens. i need new buddies. sometimes when relationships like buddies and fren drift apart, its bad and sad. but then once again. we call ourselves buddies. but r we really buddies? everything kinda seem so fake to me now. buddies eh? supposedly they are here for u when u r down and stuff. supposedly they on u when u wanna go out or so. supposedly they 24/7 for u? haha. naive. naive. i realised hw navie i had been all these while. even best fren might be out to harm you. let alone buddies. i'm chilling out. working out. i miss my old life. i miss the old me. i miss going home so early. i miss working at weekends. if i worked at weekends, i dun have time to bother about wad clubbing and shit like dat. i hate to go clubbing alone. i love crowds. i wan to be involved. i dun wan to be hurt by those evil words. i am sick of it. maybe i am petty. so wad? i'm at fault for being petty? fuck it man.

i wan to go sell ice cream. but then everything is changed now. i wan to go back handphone shop work. but i dun wan to give flyers. i wan to be promotor. and i can;t. fuck it too. i wan a part time weekend job. taka hired new staff. fuck it. i dun like sales job like natural vision coz product is hard to sell and i dun haf luck. luck wasn't with me all along. sometimes sure is lucky to win in mahjong only. otherwise. nothing else. fuck it too. i am so sick of having to vex over stuffs like that. i just wan frens and buddies to chill with. dat's all. so much so for gossiping. maybe its only right. maybe it isn't. somehow i feel i am lagging behind. i can;t keep up with the bloody pace like how everything is changing. i dun even know if u r still a fren of mine. this is worse than hi-bye friends. the familiar stranger. maybe i should do this and that. maybe i shouldn't. fuck it all up la. if u throw me one pack, i'l be sure to finish smoking it within this week. or maybe even within a day. somehow the promises i made dun seem to be there anymore. or rather. i tot it will be useless by now alr. sorry if i let people down. sorry if i blamed you. sorry if i scolded u and stuff. and ya. thank god. techno is here to save me. i shall indulge in it. so much so for being vexed. go do soul reflecting cans?

boring.

2007-04-24T22:22:00.000+08:00

so long never update. sorry guys. though i know seldom read my blog. just blame it on the face i dun haf boobs and a vagina. haha. dat's how reality is. if u r a guy and u have a blog u r gay. if u are girl and have a blog its only right. haha. i dunno la. i just heck care most of the things. like i said. this is more for me to rant on and stuff like dat. though no names are being mention. but i guess if u dun have pigs brain. u shld know who i am referring to. but then once again. u r plastic and so are your brains. heck. can't be bothered if u can understand wad i am typing. i dun have sanity to begin with. remembeR? haha.

sat was fun la. went over to esther place and played mahjong overnight with saufi and jeraldine. saufi have to leave early and then we went breakfast at 4. at mac and then carried on 3 legged mahjong. logan on winning streak and esther was losing like no tomorrow. but then ya. put water lo.. stupid esther. hand so suay one. ass la. haha. adam her baby was sleeping like a baby. haha. overall. fun la. i wan more of dat though i feel v tired on sun. but still its worthwhile bah. i'm getting weaker it seems. this sucks la. like that how cans?

sun was sleeping in and all. mon is as usual de la. boring. i wasn't even paying attention to the lab session. bored please. everything is bored. today jap lessons. bored again cans? then test in a fortnight time. sian. means i have to memorize everything single shit alr. it sucks cans? liew. at least french or so is like easier it seems? just minus the m or wadsoever it seems from wad i heard la. sians de lo. i wonder if jap just test u on oral nia. hw good can dat be sia. i tink everyone anyhow anyhow can pass le lo. but then i dunno la. this sucks to the core. i kinda regretted taking jap. but nonetheless i enjoyed the process of it. the fmb girl is kinda cool eh. dao and cool. totally rocks. haha..

sat gt dxo party. fri i wanted to go drink. inital plan was class mates outing for those who drink. but then this cannot dat cannot. kan ni na. sians cans? i hate this la. chee bye. i only wan to drink dat's all. i wanna go dxo.. but then i dun wan to go. so much so for the words. logan wans a break from it all cans? i miss chanel. though she attached. i'm nt gg for the sake of seeing someone. look. i have someone else in mind cans? i know this message wun get to intended people in my class. but then still i need to vent it off here. too much for me to handle alr la. i still prefer my pamela. i still prefer driving subahru. i dun like BMW. get my hint? though i now is prefer single and all. but still ya. i love pamela a lot.. i might be lying. i dunno. i just had enough okie? i can't spend time with buddy and u can? then its right for u to do so? call me jealous or so i dun give a shit. who know u r closer with her and all. but ya. i dunno la. i dun feel good dat's all. sorry. i still have to face u for some time. but nonetheless i will be counting down the days. till then please soul reflect cans?

eventful week.

2007-04-20T23:46:00.000+08:00

yo dudes, its friday. the fact i am here blogging means one thing. i'm home and nt outside drinking for tonight. giving it a miss with nic. sorry eh. i can't meet u and all though i doubt u read my blog. haha. u just owe me too much alr. no doubt i miss ying ying like crazy but then still i dun like to be pushed a lot. and i been on loan from other people almost all the times i know wad is up ur sleeve and i know when u will return me the money coz i been thru wad u r going thru now too. its not like i have not been loaning money from people. its like i been loaning from the people i know since young. ever since i was in pri sch and up to now. poly life. i doubt no one can beat me in loaning money from other people. till now i got into this.. loaning to people. perhaps i should charge sooner or later. say open a finance company. can forget about my little cafe alr. haha. 10% interest per month or so. how does that sound? hahaha.

sure enough, i have not been myself this week and all. thinking about the problems i was facing and all. its not easy eh. i just kinda held onto a time that things dun matter and sadly i fell backwards. i stumbled and i fell. only to find no support given and all. no doubt my buddies like shirley, esther, wenqi, was here for me. i really wanna thank them a lot and stuff like dat.. see when i get a stable weekend job, my treat outside cans? haha. i was busy thinking about my mom de stall, my yingying.. and all. i finally came to a conclusion eh. i'm gona try to forget yingying alr. i need to forget a lot of things. i wonder if i can. gona try my best it seems.

yesterday went swimming and top up my bbdc account. haha. finally got the things i needed to. so darn happy. then ya. swimmed some twenty to thirty laps. was kinda tiring i admit but i am proud of myself la. that i can do this and ya. i shall make it a weekly habit or so. i wanna be slim and nice. i just wanna slim down and all. i dun wan to get hard at joints and all. i dun wan to be limited through my movements. i dun wan to have trembling hands. i dun wan to lose frens. i dun wan my happy teenage years to end just like dat. i still gt a lot of things to do. i can't afford to let my body go down now.. at least after i hit 23 please.. at least 23. i shall be contented by then. sweet death may come. i wun even resist. seriously.

emo post from here on:
had a very good chat with mom earlier on how to maintain human relationships and all. ya. i agree with her most of the time. no doubt i am sensitive and very proud. dat's who i am. i am hurt easily, just like a glass vase. too easily hurt. simple words and simple gestures can alr hurt me. wad it mean when they start to say hurtful things? its not like the first time, people was saying since its not the first time u should have alr get used to it and all. but then each time i tink i only got hurt deeper? its always the same old few persons. dat's the main reason i dread school. not that i hate the rest of my classmates but sometimes. i just dun feel good? looking at u, hearing wad u say, seeing ur actions. logan dun feel good okie? logan fucking hate it cans? logan hates u. get it alr? being ur classmate means i have to see you for another yr or so. dun worry. spare me the misery and urs too.

end of emo post, not working this weekend. means i darn free. who wan jio me out? LOL. faster. grab on shelf before its gone. a lot of things need to be done and said for me. wad about u? have u soul reflected? =x

affairs of the heart.

2007-04-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

logan is at a lost now.. u know? i need people and someone close, a confidant for everything. sometimes, u my confidant, i find it hard to confide in u too. its like not convienent and stuff like that. i dunno. maybe i wun have a lot of people to confide things in. maybe i was born this way. maybe things was only good on the surface and dat's it. never mine. never was and will never be. i hate this feeling u know? from young to now. i have to put up with this. this sucks seriously.

fun fun

2007-04-15T23:55:00.000+08:00

hmmm after working for mom at 2 days on thursday and friday.. sat went off to enjoy.. haha. see face doctor for my face and all.. then meet nich and went walk walk drink drink.. smoke and all. go boat quay enjoy. haha.. and ya. its was enjoyable though i kinda spend a bit here and there. haha. ying ying and jesslyn. nice waitress and ya. i love ying ying to bits. ya though she dun like me and all. open a chivas bottle and i puked like no tomorrow. the girls then got into trouble and stuff. new frens like max and tim was made. love them too. then chilled to about 4 plus. bought yingying black pepper crab. then cabbed her home with max too. ya. a lot of things flowing thru my head la. i kinda like her. haha.

school is starting in a couple of hours and life is gona sucks. at least i got my last enjoyment already. ya. laters.

bored bored bored bored bored..

2007-04-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

bored la.. basically doing nth these few days.. money keeping going out.. 200 to nich la.. 100 alr on loan to outside buddy.. then i still owe esther 70 bucks win alr lo. thurs wanted to go shopping one.. but then mom make noise again about the leg and all i bo bian have to go help her out till say about 7. later she is going to see some other doctor. just hope she gets better and all or else i will really be on my nerves. i just wanna shop la. i feel my shirts are so limited.. the ones to wear to school and all. so tempted to buy levis again. but then nah too many jeans alr. hmm laters laters.. wahhaha shopping spree. here i come. and when i am free, darn free. when busy. darn busy. win alr la.

and oh ya. i been on a movie spree lately.. thanks to someone i met online and thanks to myself for getting a new desktop and having to look for SP2. or else all these wun happen.. i simply love IRC.. haha so many things can be downloaded from there, if only u know how and where to go about doing so.

i'm gg back to take to work again. on weekends nia. till they find perm staff. hmm ya. i chose my own timing. yeahness. means i dun haf to go in via staff entrance, exit via staff entrance. win alr i know. wahaha.. more babes session pls. =x i still miss the coffee lady, toro q lady, aloe vera lady. yeah. 24/7 on my mind. haha.

girls are troublesome sometimes. i saw pamela 2 times.. and its her i still miss and all. esp her goodbyes. her voice. her everything.

bored

2007-04-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. bored la. nv do anything much these few days. except fri mahjong sat shopping and finally gotten my long sleeve and watched mr bean and ghostrider. more movies to come please. haha. just found a new download area to download stuffs though sometimes cock up big time.. IRC has its wonders too cans?

sunday stayed home coz mom leg gt provlem.. so nvm la.. i also need a good rest. haha. and when i mean a good rest i dun mean my mom screaming in my ears when i just fallen asleep. dat's bad. -.-'' anyways today went to doc for checkup.. good news, i'm fine.. as in the hand trembling stuff. its okie.. yeahness.. hahaha i'm kinda happy.. sch starting soon. new girls new environment and all. good luck logan.

sibei long

2007-04-06T01:42:00.000+08:00

oh ya dudes, i know its sibei long since i last updated. plus no tags.. saddening piece of shit la. today is last day of work alr.. and gotten my pay.. and natural vision de came a few days back then.. hm. earned about 1.3k bah. haha.. a lot of things kinda happened and stuff.. driving la, work la, family matters, electrical stuffs.

driving is getting kinda smooth alr and been asked to get a PDL soon. been asked to book lessons and then have my final practical booked as well. so many things to do. haha.. first second third gear i agar agar can do alr. and its like standard to adjust seat and all. so many things. haha. enjoying it bah i guess. haha.. soon soon everything should be okie and running right.

for my work it seems the ugly man been rather moody these few days. and ya in case u still dunno, cookie girl had alr left ages ago and so is the cheesecake de girl. then i saw a couple of new nice ones. at other stores of course. haha. kinda missing workplace bah.. so many things happened and all.. nonetheless i will deeply miss ya kun de coffee. it kinda became a must for me to start work and tahan the working hours and manage my time and all.. kinda a good substitute for cigg. haha.. though i kinda broke the 1 day 4 days no smoking shit over and over again, somehow i feel i can like use coffee instead. smoking makes one tired nonetheless but somehow from the tiredness i found energy to carry on. haha. werid i know, nvm since i am werid. tako ball de girl i finally broke silence tok to her alr.. haha but still nv tell her i last day coz she rush for bus and stuff. she looks okie la.. as in big eyes and all, seriously look chao lao. haha. maybe is wad i am. fall into same category. wahahahaha..

bought tea and stuff for yikouwei and my own store, ate at outside de foodcourt, finally bought the aloe vera juice from the long hair pretty sweet looking girl.. though was another one who served me but nonetheless seeing her one last time has alr sufficed. esther came along nt too long after and wanted to treat me the po lou bao. then she bloody hell one.. asked me this ' u gt eat char siew one?'.. notice the irony? LOL. i was like wtf. of course got eat la. darn CMI la her. haha. i hate boss coz she came too and make me polish the hot pots. KNN one. i so long nv kena b4. today ji tao kena, DIU. say though last day learn something also good. wtf, u tink every job outside gt one hot pot to polish ar? office job also need polish de meh? diu diu diu. but fun la. i kinda excused to sell drinks. haha. had a enjoyable day today at work in short.

and then my new desktop gt problem again. drive error and graphic cards problem. sians u know? haha.. mom been kbkp these few days alr. so many things to do and i now hereby announce i am sibei tired. haha. been helping out mom these few days coz she sick and all. i kinda finally saw pamela after so long bah. though its far distance and i still ain;t got a fucking clue to who that guy was.. and i am confused now eh.. its like i like both of them?pamela and her.. sians. no one to tok it over with.. i dunno i misses pamela a lot and her too.. but then one dun wan to get into r/s, the other one more or less the same case as pamela. confusing eh. and pamela nv reply my smses lately.. sighs sighs sighs. i seriously dunno. till then..

2007-04-03T01:11:00.000+08:00

Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.

You seem to lack the energy of late to get up and go. Your objectives appear to be unattainable and no one seems to care. You feel lost, neglected and need some W.T.C. (Warm tender care).

Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.

Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.

Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.

sibei zhun.. no mood to tok further.. another day perhaps.

boredom la

2007-03-28T01:07:00.000+08:00

stupid desktop is getting on my nerves and stuff like dat.. i hate it a lot la.. knn one.. ccb.. gona ask the guy to help alr.. pissed and all..

now is sibei shagged.. nth much happened these few days except i chiong overnight mahjong and was super shag and stuff like that. then ya, till now still shag, 2 days nv smoke alr. i tink i can make it bah. headache and all, this sucks man.. big time. i hate this la. knn one. sians. cookiegirl nv work alr and i nv see her ard liao, so does cheesecake girl, boredom cans? ass. i seriously down on a rough patch one.. one big problem bothering me and i just can;t seem to be able to get it off my back. this sucks too u know? so many things i want to say to u but i can;t, coz.........................

aqua la

2007-03-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

wah lan eh.. today at work saw another aqua.. fucking hell la. why last time and now taka so different one? last time taka i always pick up 10 bucks on sats. now lei.. every week see one aqua.. KNN.. ccb la.. where gt this kind of thing happen one.. why why why? tell me why.. i also sian of this shit alr la.. bored.

lady boss came down today and went off la.. kinda good also.. haha.. dread the sight of her and then today i was like keep gg to the toilet now and then.. coz bladder problem.. then sians.. and ya.. getting the philippines cigg for my buddy as bday present. and ya i am quitting smoking yet i am still smoking profusely. today had 3.. highest yet bah. haha.. also stressed.. bored.. mom kbkp me abt the desktop, and all. just stressed la. its not like i am nt gg to help u do the desktop shit.. afterall its done using my own money and u wun know a single shit abt desktop and computers, do u know i feared that if i left things to u, chances are very high that i must need to change a new system. though i am i might be making things big la, but u know one la. i just dun trust u with my newly desktop, and now i am doing everything alr. gotten a v good buddy of mine to help me get rom, getting spare win xd installation disc in case shit happens, i'm all set out for the desktop, its not like i dun wan it to be done asap, its time constraints and all, i have a budget mind u, its not like i am printing cash or so. i overspent, as usual and u and him will defiantely sing in one tune, u tink u gt a lot of money arh, money is nt spent in this way one.. come to think about it, i am making plans for my future mind u. in case i might need my desktop in the future for work purposes and all and stuff like dat. that is why i am investing in this amount for the desktop, just to ensure that when time comes, it is still usable. but from past experiences, i dun haf to explain so much, u wun understand it anyways do u? after all these yrs, i still can't find a way to instill logic into your stubborn brain. haha. pardon me eh.

and then i realised earlier on, i am only left with 3.. am keeping it for parties. no more of it alr. except parties or chiong sessions only then will i bring it out.. and i know it will be hard from this step onwards. may god bless me and hope i can cut down or quit seriously.

i am at crossroads now.. one of my bud knows some of it.. another know some of it.. who and when can be my solution once and for all? suicide? too simple.. i dunno.. haha.. shall see how things go la. kinda sian these few days.

leave day

2007-03-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

today was leave.. haha. went sim lim square and got my desktop things all. but then my cd rom failed me la. sians. fuck up shit u know? haha. then mom kbkp again. win liao la, u r very hard to please la and thanks james for helping me out and yf for lending me disc. i appreciate that a lots and chon in too. haha. so rush. and i know i spent money like siao. cab there cab home over budget and over spent and now i still need to buy rom. win alr. haha. tmr gona back to work alr and esther said COOKIEGIRL WORKED. ass la. KNN one. why like dat. NT FAIR CANS? on top of dat, check my bloody results, FUCKING SUCKS. wah lan eh, this is fucking piece of shit la. and we kena tio mr victor tan again, module will be gg liao la. win alr la, hate this sem like hell la.

tired and all la. sians. i go do some stuff. Ciaos

wahahaha

2007-03-21T02:10:00.000+08:00

first thing first.. ESTHER YEO XUAN XUAN U SUCKS MAN. FTT also fail.. forget abt driving la.. just flag your hand out and hail a cab or let people drive u around at this rate u are going i tink u might have a very long time to finish learning how to properly drive a car. HAHA. okie la, next time i dun curse u fail liao. but its like so darn accurate. like i'm been cursed with the ability to curse people, like you. haha..

sunday didn;t have much events that happened so wun blog abt it. mon, which is ytd, ugly man off day. its like harvoc la, so shuang the feeling, no one to sing song to us, no one to scold us and stuff. HAPPINESS. i just love mondays when it comes to work, haha. then the new worker lost her way out, darn funny i tell u. its like eh wtf she is gg off at the back exit at b2? funny shit la. then her shoes spoilt and stuff. monday is fun without ugly man around. haha so many things like happened. was a quiet day ytd, so little people and then 9 pm onwards machiam rush hour sia. everyone come and buy deserts and all, busy until dunno like what. then ugly man called and asked sales and yeah, a whipping 1.4k which is believed to be good alr. haha. then he said treat me dinner. song boh. if everyday like dat i happy arh. haha.

today nth much happened too la. normal lo. went mom side lunch then chiong work. was kinda late in waking up but overall still in time for work. and ya smoked one cigg and gave 3 to the toilet cleaner. now i'm left with six. nich nv come taka lei. or else i give him 4 or 3, then the rest i take myself. and tmr de zouk is cancelled. thanks to wenqi. was actually saving my ciggs for dat de. coz really nv try alcohol with cigg together before. haha. today worked long hours lo. but nvm la.. cookiegirl was around and it was all worthwhile but somehow i tink after see her so long like lose interest. haha. infatuation, i must say. but nvm, she will still be my pillar of strength and motivation. though someone else lives in my heart. haha. well, tmr gona work again. thurs off day. off to movies it shall be.. and till then rock on readers. though i dun haf a lot of readers haha.

it actually pains my heart to see u like this u know? maybe u do, maybe u dun. its obvious enough alr ain;t it?

tiring day

2007-03-18T02:37:00.000+08:00

been so bloody long since i updated.. haha.. let;s start from thursday, if my memory nv fail me.. i 'jammed' the cash register at work.. hahaha.. darn funny la.. then ugly man was asked to come back immediately from his just started. and haha. tio banned from cashiering now alr.. haha..

fri also nt much happened.. just dat i passed my final theory test eh.. ONE KILL HOR.. ESTHER U IS CANNOT MAKE IT ONE LA.. =X hahaha... so happy la. then cookiegirl nv work. sad.. but then dunno la.. as i said.. i kinda see a pamela in her.. hahahaha... she smile = goddness. haha.. and ya stuff like dat. not forgetting that i get stopped AGAIN by those events de people.. banks or so.. then asked me i how old la.. working or wad la.. s'porean a not.. this is wad i feel quite sensitive lei.. then purposely use the free gift to attract me.. piang.. u give me free gift girl that i can dote on and stuff then i interested. hahaha... heck care her in the end.. then was at lucky plaza.. darn fun.. arcade needless to say.. then went to eat the famous chicken rice.. nt bad la.. i like.. hahaha..

then today, this particular female customer bought deserts.. but my focus wasn;t on wad she bought.. but her cleavage eh.. sibei nice one.. =x.. haha. even godmom also drool arh.. then i was like.. omfg.. but nonetheless, cookiegirl would have sufficed.. haha. she was at work today lo.. darn happy. hahaha.. and i was bloody late for work.. coz lucky 7 went off a bit too early and i took another route which turned out to be a big mistake.. cuase the route is darn long and then i bo bian have to cab to work lo.. then 10 mins late.. still zhun zhun somemore.. power eh.. haha.. tomorrow gona wake up earlier and buy the chicken rice for godmum and bala.. arcade is nt to be missed.. yup.. 2 more bloody weeks and i will be walking away from taka.. yippe.. but still i ain;t gt a clue to fucking how to strike a convo with cookiegirl.. saddening eh.. and oh ya.. 12 more sticks to go.. and once done.. i will never light up again.. i promise..

unhappy day

2007-03-14T00:16:00.000+08:00

unhappy day today.. supposedly its my off and i should be happy and all.. day spoilt by mom.. i know my time well enough okie? wah lan.. dun piss me off at times like dat. went ttsh for the followup and asked why my hands tremble so frequently. and doc asked if my family have suffer from dunno wad disease and asked if i drink beer.. then said i drink too much.. binch drinking or so.. and ya then met brother zhao hong and went novena square to walk walk see see someone.. and then went sim lim to get the motherboard but failed. coz too many things i dun know abt it.. then chiong to MS for moive of protege. nice one.. haha.. been long since i watch a moive and esp a nice one like dat.. haha.. then smoked one cigg.. been told to excerise to maintain my movement range and stuff. but ya.. see how things go lo might have to re clock my body and slp early then fo excersie b4 i go to work and stuff.. shall see hw everything goes.. i dun wan my body to fail me and stuff. its freaking scary when my hands trembled for a couple of days and when i spill desert over i decided that its something that must not be overlooked.. too scary alr.. haha.. i wan to be healthy kid but then sometimes it seems.. difficult.. i dun even wan to have chronic artrithis u know? i wan to be happyily healthy and alive and kicking.. get my point? sometimes i admit i hate myself for smoking and drinking.. i hate myself for the things i did.. but i dunno.. its like i dunno hw to explain it all.. i dun even know wad i am gg thru. ppl say everything is under ur own de control.. but loneliness can make one lose their own sanity.. i dun have sanity to begin with. and with dat.. i guess i have become a dunno wad.. i am scared.. seriously..

seeing people

2007-03-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. too long since i updated and i duno when i saw peeps.. say sat i was at CU eating my lunch b4 gg to work.. saw scouts friends and buddies like junjie, jia ming, jun bao, keynes, kaiyan the chio ass, cheng ting, jinming and my very good old brother.. zhao hong.. like wah seh.. suddenly see so many people at CU i also stunned.. haha.. but its nice catching up with them, esp junjie as he kinda stood by my side and stuff for some time and for somethings which i needed someone to be by my side encouraging me and giving my advice la.. he;s a good guy and happily attached to the chio ass.. fucking hell.. haha.. but nvm la.. he deserve it, it seems. packet 4 packets of char siew and roast meat rice for colleagues as a form of saying thanks to them for giving me treats every now and then.. glad that the food is right to their appeitite.. haha. ya and i have to withdraw money again cause i didn;t have enough to use.. haha.. then ya.. sun night had a short drinking session nia with nich, ah long and ah yan.. dat's about it la.. though me and nich kinda drifting away but it seems, i dunno la.. we shall still remain as brothers it seems.. good buddy of mine.. tomorrow which is tuesday we will be gg out at night again.. probably shopping and stuff. he needed a loan as usual.. haha.. today (monday) work was slack.. ugly man was off and i went to centrepoint to take pears as taka fell short of them.. perspired like no tmr.. haha.. so much so for wearing two shirt out la.. but nvm la.. its a nice form of getway from the boring taka environment.. i wan more of that.. haha.. saw ugly man at centrepoint.. SUAY.. haha but nvm la.. kinda slacked ard there too.. then.. went back taka.. the malay boy have to go to his agent to make is work permit.. and was kinda busy.. haha.. then.. ya had dinner break at 4.46.. wad a timing i know.. but heck la.. idol was here and catched up a bit with him.. he found job liao.. good good. haha.. then ah long and nich also changing jobs in july.. ah yan is now at sbs.. so good for them it seems.. haha.. and oh ya.. ytd de long island made me red.. darn red.. coz i gulped the remaining half bottle down.. haha.. but nvm la. its something new i tried and i dun like it bah.. but still nice.. i got the body heating up de feeling so shiok.. haha.. then smoked one cigg.. my hands are failing me la.. keep trembling now and then.. also dunno why.. tmr gona ask doc liao.. haha.. ugly man off and jess went off early.. = harvoc.. free ma chee and beancurd and bacon.. haha.. and deserts too. a nice spread lo. esp the bacon.. thanks ah long i shall love u deep deep in return.. haha... beer was lacking and of coz.. a cigg too.. haha..

caught up with neoying my good buddy long ago.. a close fren to me.. though we dun tok much but ya. i tink of her now and then.. she changed bah. but i dun blame her.. people change.. coz i changed too.. haha.. she down on a patch and ya. something she did kinda made my day happier.. THANKS EH BUDDY.. speaking of which gona meet her for breakfast sometime soon.. and ya tmr.. my off... doc then movie then shopping.. haha.. enjoy life.. next week no off for me eh.. so ya.. must enjoy a bit first. haha.. boredom boredom.. and i finally saw shun ge at centrepoint today.. missed him too much la.. he suffers a lot here.. and ya.. i dunno wad to say.. just my heart go out to him and those foriegn workers.. and those uncles and stuff.. but they are friendly.. i am like making more friends in taka liao.. haha. work made fun.. haha.. gona learn some malay and stuff.. hmm cool eh.. i know.. haha.. and main objective is to get to know the cookiegirl.. she seems sweet, innocent.. haha.. somehow i see a pamela in her.. ya.. till then.. wait for goods news bah... but dun pin hopes so high.. i might fail.. haha.. till then.. laters..

vexed la

2007-03-10T02:31:00.000+08:00

basically dudes, i'm rather stressed and vexed by the investment shit. swedenfund is kinda unstable and my mom wans to play some stocks which seem to be like safer but then i heard tales of stocks and stuff.. i dun really know which one i should be in or rather which one i should invest and play to earn money.. its like sibei vexing lo.. i need to make a choice and i dunno which to choose from or should i just give up on playing this kind of things as i always is the sway one.. i dunno lei. at a loss seriously. i can get the money to invest. but the returns and the reliability will be a problem.. if only someone close to me is here to advise me and stuff.. man... so many things running thru my mind.. then as usual la. my mom kbkp abt the swendenfund shit.. then keep saying wad i did in the past is nt good.. machiam scolding me and putting the blame on me like dat.. eh hello i also human lei.. i am your son lei.. u tink wad? big one short tempered. u ask him stuffs nia he angry.. then u angry then can push to me la. then wad? my temper v good arh? u tink i perfect arh? if i perfect i long ago in heaven become god liao.. still on earth cum lan arh? everything u also try to involve me and then forget abt it.. then after some time its my fault or rather u 'just saying' only.. that this and that happened. we would have more money to earn and related stuff like dat.. i mean come on la.. wad's ur problem.. u tink i dun haf my problems to see to? u tink i dun have stress from sch work and friends? u tink i lead a very stress free life arh? u tink i gt the time to even bother abt ur stuffs? u live my clock time is 100 hours? u tink i am superman arh? u tink i can do a lot of things arh? u tink i can manage things well arh? eh come on la... the english say goes, like father like son. he alr CMI when i was 2.. wad makes u tink i will do better? my old saying goes.. money can be earned back. and dun at there kbkp say u invest lo.. burn ur fingers then u know.. wah lan eh.. its machiam buying 4D like dat.. u buy lo.. cfm wun open one la.. now shit happens, i wonder hw are we gona communicate abt things alr.. and i so scared u touch my laptop.. u wun know how to operate it. and getting the big one to touch my precious will be worse.. so i am supposed to be clever at the right times and be quiet at the right time too eh? i find it difficult to handle such a thing.. u can;t do it for sure i know.. human wun like others to pick on their mistakes but they like to pick on others.. how irony.. and when i do, u see all the black faces coming to me.. and when i dun, i still see black faces sometimes.. maybe its due to the reason why i tried to explained myself.. but u would have it ur way, ur say, ur right, ur reason.. wad else is left for me to fall back on? are u even giving me a chance to explain myself clearly and nt taking a biased side account? are u still gona to be so stubborn? i dun see why i can;t be stubborn.. sometimes u have to place urself in the other person de shoes.. i know its hard.. i find it hard too.. coz when shit happens, anger usually have the better of u and then. u regret wad u said and all.. but sometimes it seems like there is no hope at all.. in everyone.. be it buddies family or wad so ever.. i am sick of this alr.. i am sick of trying to reconcile with u everytime after we had a disagreement, tired of getting into disagrement after we reconciled, tired of having to be blamed for everything, tired of u.. i am already a grown up.. can i have at least the respect that i make my own decision myself? its not like i am playing with all ur savings.. i am using my own bloody money.. get the point? arhhh.. DEEP SHIT described it all... VEXED like no one business..

off day but working

2007-03-08T01:28:00.000+08:00

yo dudes, its my offday today but i was out working for natural vision, bo bian, gt money faster go earn. haha.. i desperately in need of money. go there is basically slacked like no one business. haha.. too darn bloody bored la the environment, no people flow de. darn sian. then went 40 mins de break instead of 30 mins and then ya.. went off earlier as planned and ya sold one bloody pathetic pair of the product, but at least i also easy to report to boss la.. haha. better than having no sales at all.. haha. so fun.. haha. gotten one new contact for factory de work from the guardian side.. too sian.. haha.. ya.. finally finally, natural vision is over and taka is coming back liao.. natural vision de pay is good.. but then the product is darn wulu, or rather seldom will buy and too sian a job alr. haha... difficult for itchy butts like me to handle. but then ya.. after CPF and stuff.. more or less the pay can fight with taka de liao. haha. taka de too stress.. natural vision de too slack.. win alr la.. when can i find a balanced job? haha.. sounds fussy eh.. i know.. but too bad, its LOGAN you are handling with.. please me or go into a corner to rot and die... and oh ya.. danny is back alr.. on his hp line after wad seem months. he's doing fine now.. thank god man.. i tot he died or wad liao.. still miss him loads and i so wanna drink with him and perry again.. all the good old days.. i miss them eh.. hw only time could turn back...

tiring day

2007-03-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

yo dudes, back from work and all and ya, i chilled alr.. now its 2am.. i love mondays la.. coz ugly man is off. and then can harvoc and slack a bit.. but still today was a rather sian day for me.. too little flow of people, too little things to do.. haha.. i basically slacked la.. except the point of time when i went to bird cage and cover the things.. i perspired like no tomorrow.. win alr.. haha.. then i sian-ed coz my uniform i intend tmr then wash de.. but then.. too bad.. then gt one bloody interview shit by the management. which took up say 80 minutes? i was like wah.. haha. but then, it's a good way to pass time.. then saw this new girl in the interview room de. okie looking, but like darn chao lao like me for the age.. she look 20 plus.. but i tink either same age as me or just a year older.. then i look at her she look at me. then dots.. haha.. but this guy in the room kinda piss me off la.. my colleague the new malay guy, can;t comprehend english dat good. and the interview form was in english. then my colleague asked for help, the interviewer also can;t help.. then asked the attitude guy to help.. gogo express de.. ji tao say i also gt form to do lei. i mean wtf.. if i knew more malay, i would help him myself liao.. wah lan eh.. all is can say working under one big family de lo.. then like dat.. sians one big half.. but nvm la, he was like kinda helping him after he done his.. so i forgive him a little. but still.. haha.. i dunno i just dun like his attitude back then.. reminds me of someone.. which i dun like very much either. then it was like close to five alr.. then went back to store, took turns eat dinner, then lady boss came.. i chao geng until nothing left for me to do.. haha. then ya deliveryman came and asked why i did not turn up during CNY period.. haha.. he dun believe i fell sick and stuff.. win alr.. haha.. and ya. i finally got my taka pass liao.. means.. i can choose main entrance or staff entrance when i report to work.. haha.. depends on my mood then.. hmm.. and i have to give like $20 deposit for the name tag and the pass.. win alr.. haha.. closing time reached soon after and ya, have to cover and stuff coz of the spray of some shit.. but still can manage everything ended in time and this old uncle working in the food court have to spoil my day.. darn him la.. bala is having his break liao.. i heard 3 days off.. so good sia... then he say he treat me to dunno wad.. ugly man gona give me the treat he promised back then.. and then bala.. hmm this week can save a little more on food liao... haha

something off work for now, called the guy my bro intro for my desktop shit.. then he bo pick up. tink sleep alr.. but then sibei early lo.. 10 plus nia lei.. nvm la. i tink i getting james over to help me with it and find out the matter.. yup. i need to save money. haha. my doc appt is coming up and my driving test for ftt is coming up..just informed i will be having my off on wed. so surprised.. usually i dun have off when working coz they know i wan max. income.. haha.. but the pay a bit dots la.. nvm la.. gt income alr good enough. haha..

well, guess i shall end here. rock on guys.. till then..

work work work

2007-03-05T00:35:00.000+08:00

yo dudes, hmm i wondering lei.. i everytime blog, starting say yo dudes, machiam gt a lot of ppl bother my blog like dat.. haha. another day at work have past. the ugly man left early to attend a bloody dinner shit at dunno where. he called me earlier in the morning when i was still sleeping, saying that the new guy did not report to work and he needed manpower badly. i was like.. wtf? i am still sleeping.. then i just told him i try to be earlier lo.. cause its standard mah.. late.. then the guy reached liao.. nv call me back one.. win alr.. but nvm la.. life's been kinda great with the new guy around.. teaching him things, letting him do the tasks and all, workload is sibei heavily reduced.. haha. i nv bully him la.. is he need to learn one.. he is a better worker than the auntie that was asked to leave.. haha. the main problem will be the language problem. otherwise he can do it de.. and ya. god mum treated all of us a meal today. thanks eh.. haha.. i go work mahciam no need to spend money one.. except transportation.. drinks is supplied.. food occassion treats from here and there. haha.. envy me boh? hahaha.. work is kinda boring these few days lei.. weekends yet so quiet.. haha.. i wonder should i be happy or wad.. and i just recalled.. i dun have sanity to begin with.. haha..

hmmm idol from the opposite store is back in sg.. more fun session. nich is like kinda quiet nowadays lei.. wonder wad happened.. the dragon in place of nich is kinda quiet and almost dragged me into trouble.. ass. haha. keep bumping into esther de qme friend but she dun recognise me. haha. nvm. and oh ya, lady boss tomorrow coming down.. to give pay.. wonder hw long she will stay, with her around die die need to smile and stuff, have to chao geng and all.. can kill eh.. plus she's fat and take up space. i know i am not any better but still ya. haha.. and ya. speaking of her.. her bro(the ugly man) sucks la.. make me walk up and down so many times.. sometimes is can say blessing, but will tired one lei.. haha.. if only every weekend can be like this weekend i will feel better in doing this job.. coz i wun feel underpaid. and wad;s with the stupid if u are one min late in coming back during ur break, we will deduct half an hour de pay. wtf lo.. its like wad my god mum said back then.. do things nv zhun zhun de la.. lol. then they came up with this.. totally owns la. and the old woman been transferred.. kinda miss her but then its okie.. haha.. my skin cracked again, just like the past. nvm, i shall try to get used to it.. haha i hope time faster pass these few days, i wan faster go back to sch, though i dun have anything to look forward in sch but still.. ya.. miss sch la.. lol..

this happened at home recently, leather of sofa tore some weeks back.. com broke down 2 days alr.. the desktop one.. darn heart pain.. the fan used to cool my desktop was dropped at a height, one of the three wings broke off, the tile had a hair like 3 cm scratch line. win alr la.. i feel my mom gona hurt me real bad liao. and i having tots of wad will be done if this or dat happened. ya.. the toilet de sliding door handle kinda dropped. the shower head de pipe from the exhuast area to the shower head de kinda sucks and water can flow out from within. my room is getting infected by cobwebs. dat's how life is for now.. win alr.. so many things happened.. i dun wan get scolding alr. tmr tmr i shall tell mom wad happened. hope i dun get some scoldings and stuff..

anyways, getting late alr. i'm turning in. u guys rock on.. till then...
i'll try and forget u.. i promise..

back in action

2007-03-04T02:54:00.000+08:00

yo peeps, its me back again... i told some of them to remove my links already. soon this will become a ranting spot, a pplace for me to recall, to remember stuffs, be it happy or sad. fri just went zouk with esther, jeraldine and saufi. was fun and stuff.. man.. i wan more parties, chiong-ing cans? i seriously wan to enjoy the life of an adult even though i know i cannot drink so much and stuff like dat coz of the bloody health problem i am having.. but still, we die someday tio boh? haha.. if wanna die, at least die happily but trying out things u know u can;t try and stuff.. so i did alr.. drinking, smoking, dancing like no tomorrow. party party party. chiong chiong chiong.. hahaha

and ya its darn long since i last blogged.. so this will be a long post.. haha. a lot of things happened during this sem.. i mean.. A LOT. christmas eve celebration, new year celebration, my birthday celebration, making of new friends, getting closer with some people in school, getting closer with outside friends, getting more tiko, getting more alcoholic, living in a unhealthy manner, having random crushes on people i should not crush on, driving lessons, working and working, playing investments, learnt to smoke, learnt what kind of shirts i seek, learnt that sometimes things will not go your way but there is always a way out, learnt how to perform mircale by studying a few hours for exams, learnt that love is not everything in this world, learnt that no one can really be trusted, learnt that no matter hw much i do my brother will still be the number 1 in my mom's eye, learnt that sometimes doing so much for a person is somehow not worth it, learnt that the older u get, the lesser friends u will have to trust, learnt that the older u get, its easier to get tired, learnt that ur appearance wasn't pretty much pleasant, learnt that loving u was one big mistake.

sure, i learnt a lot of things, thinking have started to change, handling of problems wun be the same way as it was in the past. for some people, ur appearance or rather ur actions, the way u conduct urself, the way u protray out to people is irritating, but then still i have to face u for some time b4 we graduate.. do u understand wad i am going through? i'm ignoring, playing a deaf ear for all the things u say from now on.. all will be nothing but a facade.. friends is not wad i need, aquantainces will do fine.. for wad is friends when friends isn't friends, buddies ain't buddies. if that's the way things are being done and said, i just have to play a deaf ear.. let u get the credit and all.. i am sick of u alr.. condemn me poor again and i make u bleed.. i am a guy myself, i know wad u all are thinking too eh.. please la.. dun act as if you two are nice guys and stuff.. afterall, dat is wad u two want wad.. so ya.. i know it all... for now, i'm enjoying life with my outside bros, and i doubt u will understand wad i am conveying to u. so forget it and get out of my life.

till then.. back off..

dead

2006-08-13T22:14:00.000+08:00

i am gonna close down this blog.. for the new webbie and stuff.. pls come to me PERSONALLY.

2006-08-11T18:28:00.000+08:00

test

another week

2006-07-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

another week have passed le.. and the lack of my updates i know.. is too dots.. and yup./. i misses pamela.. though i and her not together but i miss her and i hope she sneezes every now and then to know i miss then.. it will be fun to see if she can connect her sneezing with my miss-ing of her.. okie.. dots.. i know.. see how it goes bah.. can;t wait for somedays to some... tomorrrow.. yeahness. haha.. see how everything goes bah. i wanna dote on her and all.. i need someone.. yup.. the feeling of being loved and loving someone... is so.... un-describle.. yup..
last weekend taken off and went on a shopping craze and sun met up wwith my brothers.. pool-ed.. long-john and some shooting gun game.. fun fun fun.. yup.. sometimes.. ya... ice skating ring rocks!! lol.. if u know wad i mean la.. haha.. so.. yup.. i just love them and pamela.. i wan pamela out soon.. i wan to hold her hand and walk her home, walk her school her everywhere.. i wan to see her whenever possible and ya.. i just wan to dote on her.. yup yup.. and ya.. i love shopping.. so much for shirts and some nice wear.. but getting a new sling also.. i wan i wan i wan.. so many things.. and bloody NDP nv pick me as a winner.. asshole.. i tot i got the bloody tickets and then.. dots.. but nvm.. i will continue to work harder and earn more money.. i just wan unlimited money.. haha.. wooot.
and lastly.. EIS done.. over and ya.. feel.... so good... i feel good... lalalala.. i feel so good.. so good... so goood.. i feel goood.. hahaha... 4 more to go... 4 mroe... wooot.. and i am darn anticipating 8 aug... HUAT arh... till then..

sighs

2006-07-24T23:22:00.000+08:00

i just dunno wad to blog.. too sian and stuff.. i feel tired and i just dun freaking get it why my area de hairdresser cannot cut my hair properly.. sian one lo.. yup.. been so long le.. since sec sch had gathering.. and i miss all of my brothers in sec sch.. and those who helped me so many freaking times.. i dunno wad to say.. just suddenly feel sad and stuff like dat. i dun really know wad is going on and stuff.. and i miss pamela.. wish i could turn back time and tell her those words that i have been needing to tell her.. but i just.. just could not find and could not accumlate all my courage to even tok to her and stuff.. why.. i dunno.. i am supposed to be thick skin and stuff.. i dunno hw to go about jio-ing girls and stuff.. nor do i know hw to ask for a number, nor do i have the charms if any.. i dun even know wad to do and i dun wan to like vex over it.. but then.. i just dun wan to be single any further.. yup yup yup.. i am insensitive back then.. but now.. ain;t i supposed to be given a second chance.. why.. i just wan a second chance.. for things to be the way it used to be.. u tokking to me and staring each other right in the eyes and stuff like dat.. if only u know how much and how many things i wanna say... i got so many tales to tell.. i wan to fill u in one by one.. the tale of my first lie.. my craziest tiime of my entire life.. the whackiest things i done.. the people i met.. the people i know.. the problems i encountered.. if only given to chance and stuff.. does any one know the feeling of being pelted by the rain in a solitude world.. how lonely is it.. and do u know even the cutest thing i see also had no use.. wad's heaven if there is no you.. without you i guess.. heaven is no different from hell.. i just wanna dote and u.. now and forever.. my little princess.. u are the one i wanna be with..

happening sia

2006-07-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

happening weekend.. lol.. hahaha.. saturday saw to many people lo.. jiahui with dat guy, sharon, qiuyu,melissa and some otehr guys.. haha.. suntec now like got more and more people le lei.. keep seeing them de.. hahaha... i dunno.. but sometimes i tink it is fun to see company.. yup. and ya.. i still dunno if i got work a not.. i hope i still can have the job. its like i been slacking too much.. yup.. excessive slacking.. haha. but so far i nv tio complain lei.. just hope the new guy at my store watches his mouth.. or else i will be packing for home.. yup.. haha.. he too hardworking i suppose.. but ya.. i must say i just know how to slack.. lol.. coz i been throwing away the paper like no tomorrow.. haha.. they say tuesday pay coming. i hope its for sure.. haha.. otherwise i will be seriously turned off.. haha.. then this week have to go down to the place myself to submit the bloody timesheet.. sian lo.. i dun wish like going downn lo.. haha.. sian equal sian... cursed place. haha.. now in school.. sian..

another friday

2006-07-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

yo.. its gonna be another friday soon.. sian.. it only means work is coming and stuff.. still haven gotten my bloody pay. dunno if i should voice it out or wad.. next week.. next week i gona leave and i gona ask abt my pay.. yup.. no denying it.. see how it goes.. i am tired and stuff.. been on a sleeping marathon.. haha.. 12.5 hours.. 2 hours.. 4 hours... and stuff.. liew.. cmi sia me.. hahaha.. tmr having stats test.. sian.. i scared i fail sia.. seems so bloody difficult to me to comprehend.. hmm if only things are made more easier.. i am not a intellectually disabled but just plain lazy to study and to comprehend the formulae.. IS was wtf today.. haha.. finally hit the ball.. liew.. previously i also got hit lo.. screw the leader or wad-evver-he-was-called. wen shan ponn-ed her CATs. liew i also wan to pon.. but then.. sighs.. nvm ..

life has just gotten kinda boring.. yup.. if u know wad i mean.. haha.. anyways.. till then..

anotehr week

2006-07-10T23:24:00.000+08:00

yo guys.. ps for the late posts and stuff.. been another week and yeah.. world cup ended and it burnt my hole again.. fuck those soccer players.. lol.. too much arh.. but never mind.. guess for now will stick back to playing mahjong and stuff.. yup yup..

anyways work was nice.. new models and i so wan to get the E900 already.. so cool and stuff.. but the price is way too steep.. too over the limit.. yup yup... so i hope for some wealth to occur lo.. cannot be helped.. haha.. more gambling for me i guess.. yup yup.. wahahaha.. and recently like lesser girls to see at suntec lei.. liew.. sian one big half lo.. haha.. how boring can life get?? haha.. i dunno.. so many things gona happen.. so many dunno wad to say.. i feel so busy and i feel i lived too long a day.. its like weekend nia i felt i spend like 1 week holiday.. then today returned school machiam just sch re-open haha..too dots.. soccer fever over le.. haha.. wooot..

anyways.. sch today attendence KNS.. nnb de.. i should have ponned also.. haha./.. sian-ed one big half lo.. seriously.. so tired.. but nvm.. maybe its due to clinches and stuff.. nvm nvm nvm.. i am strong and u are weak.. i am not afraid of being cut.. maybe i am i dunno.. but i know u definately is being afraid of being cut.. looking for cheap sex arh?? u guys made it too obvious.. though i nt any better but then.. ya.. i dunno wad to say.. it so remind me of someone.. the unfamous group in my sec sch.. haha.. such a similiar situation.. so ya.. maybe those groups exists all around... i am sure... so say we all.. so say we all..

sorry so long bo update

2006-07-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

been a week plus le.. haha sorry for the lack of updates.. running big business u see?? lol.. hahaha... been kinda busy nowadays.. with last min projects and stuff.. last week of holidays... spend thurs overnight mahjong.. fri selling ice cream and a new job interview which is not to my liking and then weekend job.. then... sat.. went to suntec work and went to parry de party.. at midnight.. sibei dots.. then played mahjong.. thanks danny for lifting me here and there... yup.. and FUCK brazil sia.. lose to FRANCE.. made me lose $50.. pek chek.. but nvm.. the parry de mahjong i won about 70.. and this world cup sibei dots.. i lose in world cup.. mahjong will recup back all the losses incurred.. so good in a way la.. maybe god is hinting i should quit world cup.. haha.. see how it goes bah.. so many things happening.. haha.. maybe life for me is like this.. this settled le.. then a new problem arises.. haha.. haha.. problematic.. i know.. but dat;'s me.. hmmm dunno wad to say.. haha.. my sis outing cancelled.. sobs

jiejie.. haha.. drama mama.. i know.. yup yup.. see when can meet and stuff.. i wanna lead a rich and busy life.. filled with programs to the brim if possible..

'when u cut, u are afraid of being cut, when u save, u are afraid of losing them... apparently u speak of nothing but fear.. '

another weekend

2006-06-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. another weekend had passed.. hahahahahaaa.. i am $77 richer.. and fuck world cup.. hahaha.. i lost close to 70 le.. sighs.. why like dat sia.. i also dunno.. hahaaa.. still gt debts to settle.. how?? sure die lo.. i hope i wun perish so fast.. so many things i haven buy and stuff. i just wan more money. yup... anyways. school starting in like dunno hw many hours time and i so dun wan to see some people in class.. but heck.. guess i can;t aviod them all the time. so.. ya.. u provoke me... u die miserably.. yup.. dat for sure.. hehehehe... so dun provoke me for now.. i can;t be offended.. yup. i dunno u guys know my blog a not. but its been make known to raymond le.. so much so for saying i commited too much sins.. u are not any better. and now i haf the ai zai spirit.. so. impossible is nothing.. nothing is impossible... just dun question the basis for my confidence in getting things done.. yup.. i dun care wad ur motive is.. but just dun cross the line and come into wad i see as my pirorities and dun judge me.. who are u to judge wad type of a person am i.. u are too weak.. too weak to even survive.. i dun see why u still linger around here.. weakling.. pls.. dun.. do wad u cannot.. cause i know.. u cannot be judged.. so do i.. so dun go around judging people..

good day

2006-06-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

hmm wad can i say?? its gona be so good a day sia.. someone just accepted me in FRIENDSTER.. i know it sounds stupid to play frenster now.. but heck.. i am happy enough le.. ltr gona go by her hse to take bus to work.. but at least i know.. she was online today.. heng i dun haf her msn yet.. coz i was busy napping.. yup yup.. its so gonna be my day.. haha.. i tink danny ltr gg back to visit us a bit.. then i tink cfm haf drnkling session.. wooot.. i wan her and miss him.. hahaha.. life will be so good la.. i just dunno hw to say.. yup.. too excited le.. hahaha..

work

2006-06-20T00:44:00.000+08:00

back to selling ice cream for the last week.. he is leaving le and i went 420 lei.. pamela not in.. or is it the house i nv go see.. i dunno.. but i hear the voice i know.. is cfm nt pamela. but then.. ya i dunno la.. then.. sibei dots lo. i saw a pink shirt which somehow resemble the one i saw dat day when i saw her at the bus stop.. then the house darn vacant lei. saddening piece of shit.. how shitty can my life get?? sians.. PAMELA.. hai.,.
i am just so bloody afraid.. of losing u la.. imagine u are taken.. last year.. why nv we treasure the times we see each other. why?? this year.. wad the hell happened again.. was supposed to work out de.. then the bloody helper.. i know maybe u feel i can't live up to wad i promise., but dat time was really a sibei jia lat case... seriously... hai.. if only time could go back and stuff.. i just wan to tell u i like u too... and i wanna ask u the qns. if u wanna be my girlfriend.. coz its ur face i am dreaming every night.. tinking of b4 i sleep every night.. sians. u know how it feels?? i doubt u dun and u dun even know of this blog.. but i hope u will know soon.. coz i really misses u a lot... yup... though there are no happy times for me to recall abck since we were not even together before.. but i remebered the first time u commented on me.. staring at me straight.. and stuff.. i remember the time u asked for my chinese name.. the time u called me yoghurt.. then.. u are like gone.. forever... and i just wanna see u to sch everyday.. see u when i come home after school everyday.. i will go back home so early.. coz i just wanna see u and stuff.. i wanna dote and u and all.. so many things.. i dun even know if i gt the chance to.. i just hope i cann know u better and be with u b4 anything happens... no one knows wad is happening now... the position my mom is in and stuff.. they just can;t be understanding.. seriously i am sick and tired le.. of everything.... but i hope thru u i can have a new life.. a new goal and stuff.. darn heart aching when such things happen. sians.. u nv know do u??

reflection?? haha

2006-06-16T22:05:00.000+08:00

now looking back at chalet.. ya.. saddening over some stuffs... kinda made me feel i returned to the miserable sec sch.. hahaa.. i dun reallly know how to say it.. but no one's name gona be put up here.. just wanna say.. at the very least i know where i stand.. i dun like wish for the impossible.. i go for average girls.. so waad if ur aim is to get a bf as handsome as so & so.. most of the time.. the one u get wun be like dat lo.. u compare the guys in our class.. those attached de.. their gf are so-so only mah.. so wad's ur point?? they handsome.. i nth to say.. but u r nt like say a beauty queen.. looks 'mature' so wad?? big fuck.. being mature is currently not the in type liao cans? given ur face and stuff.. u are offically delcared out.. i might be out.. but at least i dun run away from it.. the more u run away from it.. the greater it surfaces.. revealing more about ur weakness.. so pls.. grow strong and be the real mature.. nt have mature looks.. but mature mindset.. please... mature looks are over already and mature mindset is wad u need in poly.. get a life bah.. so wad if i am poor and stuffs.. being poor is to allow people like u who are not any richer to mock at me?? get a life.. maybe joining the 77th street club might help.. but i doubt it will make any difference.. being rich dun really entitle u to wad priveliege (heck wadever the spelling is) u tink u are entitled to... u r just being boring.. weak.. and i know.. i will win u.. in no matter wad.. and... u who is about to be condemned real bad have no right to know wad is happening and stuff.. very soon.. it will all be over.. in the meantime.. i guess u shld really go and see how people around you live and maybe u can try living like the others.. but that will be so fake.. so unreal.. so.. my advise to u.. is.. just fuck off and die bah.. dun waste earth's resources any further.. when u get older.. ur parents will be ashamed to have a child like u.. they will be so ashamed they dun wan to live in the world any further.. so.. treat it as doing a good deed.. end ur life so as to free them from future suffering.. and even when u die./. i tink satan gona stick a needle in ur eye.. coz u seriously can't get above the mark.. and i dun even see the reason why u exists at the very beginning.. sighs.. i wonder how u gona die..

how many days??

2006-06-14T23:25:00.000+08:00

how many days since i last updated?? i dunno. but i am happy though.. i got a new laopo and that is my laptop.. sotec brand.. though heavy a bit. but to my likeing and i like it a lot. i guess i will dote on it more than my gf(now still haven appear in my life.) hahaa.. just love my lappy to loads.. wahahahaha. wwho will love their lappy so much de?/ i paid a heavy price for it la.. but nvm.. its worthwhile.. then.. my desktop is now suddenly coming back to life.. hahahahaa.. scary i know.. but ya.. very happy.. happy i got a weekend job just giving flyers.. 5.50 per hour and 7 hours each weekend day.. 14 hours in total... one month can earn about 300.. better than nothing.. and the only sad thing now is.. my desktop de sound system spoil.. gona get a new one.. hahaha.. maybe those cheap de.. i love myy lappy more for now.. ahahaahah.. woooot... hw happier can i get?? hahaha.. i gona get stickers to deco my lappy too. and some badges to deco the coover.. the soft soft lappy cover that feels like.. bra.. hahahaa.. no one can beat me now.. woot..

yesterday was class chalet and y a.. drank quite a bit.. never tot i will drink so much de.. but nvm.. i enjoyed it.. and pls dun stop me next time when i drink coz i know i am, not drunk.. juist half a bottle more nia.. wun die de lo..

back from the funeral and stuff

2006-06-04T21:52:00.000+08:00

i am back from malaysia le.. many things happened.. a lot of things we see and we can;t do anything about it.. but seriously speaking.. i guess it was a rather peaceful funeral.. but it aches my heart to see how much she slimmed down.. just wondering how was life for her in these 2 years.. sometimes i wonder wad i saw is wad u meant.. hmm.. i am nt sure either.. but for long.. i guess.. i will come in and visit u every year.. i will try to come and give u my offerings.. it been long.. and tiring for the uncle and ah hei and ah san.. watch over them bah.. enjoy ur life at the other side.. i just can;t get it why u slimmed down so much.. why make ur life miserable?? why dun eat normally?? so many questions in my mind now.. but why?? i dunno.. if i am not wrong.. u did came back this morning.. maybe it is u.. i dunno.. yup.. but till then.. rest well..

Dedication to Grandma

2006-06-01T20:43:00.000+08:00

this post is a dedication to my beloved grandma.. yup..

during my IS lesson today... i got a phone call from home.. she passed away.. in JB.. so many things flashed through my mind.. the times when she was staying at my house.. all the things.. all the events.. all the times.. so many things i wanna telll her.. sorrie and stuff.. i remembered the time i lost my temper and shouted at her. i remembered getting angry at her.. i remembered how she would tell me stories when i asked her to.. i remembered the times when she would buy me sweet treats.. i remember the time she forked out $10 bucks for me to get a basketball.. i remembered the times of so many things.. having to wake up early in the morning to accompany her to the doctor's.. having to lend her a hand as a walking support.. having to get her medication and milk powder every now and then.. having her to help wash my socks.. having her to finish the things i left undone.. those household chores.. it been about 2 yrs since she moved in JB after some family quarrel.. i haben seen her for so long.. last yr.. i should have went in to take a look at her.. darn my stubborn-ness.. i quarrelled with my mom and did not went in.. this holiday... i tot.. maybe i could get to see her after so long.. i am just so close to seeing her.. i just wana let her see hw much i grown.. just like another 10 days or wad.. and i gona be in JB visiting her.. and now.. weekend i am gg in to attend the wake.. and to send her off..

there are so many things..
i wanna say.. i am sorry for having u to give in to me when i was angry back then..
i am sorry for getting angry with u at times..
i am sorry that every now and then u have to do wad i left undone..
i am sorry i didn't come in to see u last holidays..
i am sorry i can;t do much when the quarrells begin..
i know no matter how much tears we shed now.. it wun reverse back time.. i just can't get it.. why now?? why not after i visit u?? i am sure u wanna see me too.. i wanna see u too.. i dun get it.. why things turn out this way.. just a couple of days more.. why?? just dun get it.. hai.. i am so gonna miss u grandma.. the second wake i attended.. or rather the third.. first, my dad.. then my uncle's.. now hers.. i never expected it.. sighs..

i dunno wad to do and say.. u will always be in my mind.. i am sure.. and rest in peace i suppose.. i dunno wad else i can do... maybe its a form of relieve for u.. having to live so unhappily inside.. maybe the initial tot of asking them to share some repsonsibility in taking care of u was very wrong from the beginning.. but i am just so afraid.. having u slip and fell once.. i am afraid.. we all go out study and work so long.. for long hours u will be alone at home.. and then we tot. maybe malaysia would be better and all.. but it turn out worse. i dun even know wad caused u to die.. so many reasons flashed through my minds.. and i am not allowed to question them.. to prevent bad blood.. i dunno.. but why?? for now.. i hope.. ur last journey will be smooth.. dun worry.. me and brother are coming in on sat.. i just hope to listen to ur stories once more.. i still dunno so much about u.. i.. dunno.. rest well.. grandma..

pretty like hell

2006-05-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

hmmm back for now.. posts are like so little.. lol.. sorrie about that.. too busy a week i guess.. quizes and stuff.. common tests are coming already and it freaking me out. this sucks.. but heck.. had discussion with mom and stuff.. i am getting a new sotec laptop and dat is final.. decision made by me and myself.. i grown up le.. i need to learn how to make decision at times i suppose.. so many things are happening.. albert left.. parry and danny soon to leave also.. sighs.. no more ice cream.. no more fun and happy hour.. but none the less it's a experience gained.. yup.. its likke who will have so much fun selling ice cream.. and the things we do together.. memorable.. yup..

today went ice cream again.. but before that.. was a happy day.. went to bugis to meet someone and i felt so comfortable with her lo.. its like.. so ... i dunno hw to say.. it just feels good and nice.. yup.. but she is too good a girl to let go.. darn her ex.. dunno how to tresure her.. and darn her ex-ex.. for running back to her now.. and darn myself.. for failing to jio her.. i was so close le.. just i guess the tiny little thing holding me back.. i lack courage.. but through here i am quite daring la.. its like.. i doubt she know abt this blog.. and i just wanna say.. 我只想用这辈子去爱你
.. so many things left hanging.. undone.. one by one.. i shall finish it all.. i will be here waiting for you.. i had the fun.. yup.. with u..haha.. if only u know..

sian one big half

2006-05-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

this week went down to sim lim le.. my lappy now pronounced dead and stuff.. sian.. haf to buy new one and all.. sighs/. bloody lappy problems.. life kinda nt in good track.. mom kp-ing abt my hair and stuff.. i wanna get a something real soon.. haha.. changing my appearance.. hope gt the 'effect' wahaha.. saving up for new lappy.. i wan my new shoes and stuff.. sighs.. albert left the company le.. more sian.. but the bbq was nice la.. though parry de lorry key lost.. but none the less.. fun and more fun.. haha.. soon bah.. i guess my current job will be no more.. i wan better job with better pay.. yup.. thanks jason today pei wo go sim lim and stuff.. stressed arh stressed..
go off le bah.. so many problems...
sighs

another fateful week

2006-05-14T19:01:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. another fateful week had passed.. wonder how is everyone doing and i hope everything can return to square one though i am sick and tired of it all.. but heck le bah.. now more or less i tink he know i dun like him dat much already and ya.. so now like no conflicts liao.. learn to settle things in a mature way.. yup yup.. all grown up liaos.. kinda wun look good if something happens.. and ya.. friday night .. tio some daiji at jurong west st 81.. haikim people.. haha.. but nth much la.. just the way i walk and stuff.. no fighting and stuff.. just received verbal warning and then he left. . haha.. kinda pissed me off a little.. but its okie.. over and stuff.. new week starting ahead.. yeah.. school.. and fun.. i wanna be rich and go shopping and buy stuffs.. sighs.. i guess i will sign off here.. till then.. rock on..

fuck off la people..

2006-05-09T09:31:00.000+08:00

fuck off la.. all these bloody suckers.. they are really getting on my nerves.. mom.. brother.. classmates.. wtf do u all wan?? taking turns to piss me off daily?? fuck u and i hope u go to hell and satan sticks a needle in ur eye.. so wad if u are 18 and stronger?? sorrie hor.. lim peh dun give a fuck.. at most pia zui lo.. u tink my frens can;t win you meh?? i guess not lo.. i admit i am weak... so wad?? using ur strength as an advantage to push over those weaker ones?? sorry.. u r being despised.. badly... worse.. i tink you are condemned already.. but me.. i dun care wad other think of you and stuff.. playboy?? heck care.. may you tio AIDS or some STD someday.. bookie?? pui.. richass?? pui.. u are seriously being condemned by me already.. i tink sooner or later people will know about me condemning you.. yup.. i dun care wad u gonna do about it.. i guess.. there is nothing much u can do too.. as long as u touch me a single bit.. i am sure i will give u hell. seriously.. i dun like to do this too.. dun force me.. i can;t take it anymore.. dun di siao me already.. i am sick and tired of being all ur jokes.. sorrie.. i dun like the idea of dat.. once a while.. okie.. everyday?? screw u.. say i di siao u.. fine.. so be it.. i shall give u some colours sooner or later.. fuck off la u.. i dun like u..

2006-05-07T02:13:00.000+08:00

been like so long le.. haha.. too many things happening.. i know my last post was so cut off.. but sorry.. can;t help it.. mom was pissing me off with her stuffs.. went into bad mood immediately.. and nowadays... i doubt my mood is any better.. so ya.. dun come pissing me off.. so much so for weiling.. haha.. nvm la.. guess we can't click so well.. yup.. but none the less.. a new friend made.. i seriously like poly life the way as it is now.. its like so fun and stuff.. and i wan to be well known.. popular.. be good and nice.. i wan ppl hi-ing me every now and then. i wan free treats.. so many things.. i hope i can get.. yup.. i dun like to be alone... the feeling of being lonely sucks.. seriously.. it sucks.. no kidding.. hate the life at home now.. i wanna work till late late.. i dun wan to be bothered with wad happens at home.. sick already.. same old cycle repaeting itself.. ain;t u tired as well?? then why do u always have to be the one who start it over and over again.. why can;t u just for once remember the good things that happen and forget all the bad things?? why why why.. i doubt u even know. neither do i.. maybe it is born in our blood.. we are bornt to be stubborn.. bo bian.. who ask u to give birth to me.. like mother like son.. wad a true saying.. sometimes.. i feel.. u dun haf to right to come and control my life.. it seems.. urs ain;t any better.. sometimes.. i proved to u.. but u just dun wan to face the results i have at hand... running away from it... do u know hw much it hurts a not.. for a parent to react like dat.. wait lo.. bo bian.. i wanna be the first to own a car.. dun worry.. i'm gona pay for my own lessons.. driving lessons and motor lessons.. yup.. found new job.. gg for interview soon.. hope its a good catch.. yup.. guess i'll sign off now.. so much so for ranting.. till then.. guys.. rock on..

woot.. enjoyin life now.. do u??

2006-05-01T11:42:00.000+08:00

wahaha.. buay pai lo.. i'm like kinda enjoying life right now.. yup.. be it work or school.. kinda enjoy the company i get.. yup.. its like so fun lo.. school gt peeps to hang out and chill with.. play pool with.. watch girls with.. go eat with.. its like always gt ppl around u de.. cfm wun lonely.. haha.. i hate to be lonely de.. some peeps know and some others dunno.. yup.. so ya.. now u know.. wahhaa.. i know its been long since i last posted.. but come to tink abt it.. like no one really bothered about my blog. haha.. but i'm happy la.. be it popular or not.. okie let's get down to topic.. wad's been happening this week..
seriously i hate the bloody sim lim laptop guy.. fuck sia.. i go down like say 5 times in a week lo.. sibei pek chek.. he nt sian i sian lo.. then.. yup.. still nt okie.. fucking du-lan already.. haha.. i now wondering wad to do abt it lo.. damn pek chek de.... then.. yup.. worse.. bro haf to provoke me further.. asshole sia.. go out know hw to lock door dunno hw to close window arh? FUCK YOU LA.. ask u cook water u also dun bother. as well dun bother to live.. go and die la.. pek chek de.. seriously.. pissed by people all around me.. yup..

now, for a change.. happy things.. haha.. friday went for ngee ann camp.. supposedly to be a 3 days 2 night de.. but i went for 2 days 1 night instead.. haha.. then had so much fun and stuff.. kinda enjoy the people there.. some la.. though some also pisses me off.. and yup.. made new friends again.. haha.. enjoy nightwalk.. coz onli time solo with girl mah.. wahaha.. dun worry.. weiling and jiahui.. the leg soft and hard de thing i wun say out much de.. wahhaha.. now in a bloody fucked up mood.. fuck.. ass..

sibei jia lat

2006-04-22T23:47:00.000+08:00

sibei jia lat arh.. sch starting.. wanted to blog ytd de.. then laptop cock up.. auto shutdown lei.. sibei jia lat arh.. then today went to sch install software.. then lappy cock up again.. here and there got problems. sibei pek chek.. hate dat mr tan thye pong.. fuck de la.. tell me cannot download.. then leeave me alone at there dunno wad to do.. heng i is go ask around.. then mr lee kok beng assisted a little.. managed to get the bloody software installed.. and ya.. i need a wireless card.. and i need to bring to dat person there let him configure again after i get the card.. yup.. sibei jia lat.. my class like nt bad lei. maybe friday everyone shy bah.. all diam diam de.. but okie la.. girls.. okie la.. abt 13 to 14 girls... 7 guys.. sibei jia lat.. girl power damn lot.. but nvm.. will try to be socialable bah.. seriously sick of trying to adapt to a new environment le.. haha.. now having second tots abt the camp.. maybe i shld stay thru out.. yup.. and one of my classmate look so much alike with someone.. maybe her ssis.. haha.. gona ask her soon.. so alike lo.. i stunned on friday.. then saw her on sat.. but still dunno her name.. haha.. soon la.. make friend onli.. dun tink too much. i still kinda like pamela.. yup.. pamela damn cute and nice la.. haha.. hope my poly years are fun and enjoyable.. dun seems to like have bengs in my class.. no worries.. plus.. i guess so far bo offend ppl.. so ya.. will be fine.. smoking.. good or bad?? haha

currently thinking.. so fast sch start le.. sighs.. hw to celebrate 18 birthday.. yet to know. sighs.. best way?? any sugestions?? chalet?? hmmm... i dunno. still a long way i guess.. alrights.. till then.. rock on people..

sch gona start le.. fuck la

2006-04-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

sch gona start le lo.. fucking piece of shit la.. just now yuanxuan just told me abt gg online for timetable.. and i saw timetable le.. okie okie lo.. nt bad bah.. but fridays sucked.. and i'm like so lucky i nv go do the cartel job.. or else will die.. coz fridays.. kinda end late at odd weeks.. yup.. so yup.. guess ice cream will be wad i;m doing bah.. yup.. i'm so bored.. i shld have went to peijing chalet and rotted.. but heck.. carely was online earlier on and she bo reply my msg.. -.-'' shopping day gona come.. sunday.. yup.. gona shop for some clothes and some jeans.. and ya.. i'm so in need of $$.. shopping list:
- globe shoes. ($95)
-clothes (est. $100)
-handphone (est. $300)

alrights.. whose gona be my atm?? lol.. anyone wanna sponsor me?? hmmmm... getting ice cream pay soon.. 100 plus nia.. gona use it on clothes first bah.. maybe will have to use the $$ in bank.. sighs.. i feel so poor.. sighs.. i go chat le la.. buaiz.. till then rock on guys..

death was so close..

2006-04-09T17:53:00.000+08:00

i almost died on friday.. at bukit batok east ave 6 block 290D.. fuck those highrise litterbugs.. but WHO ON EARTH WILL THROW 2 BLOODY STACKS OF NEWSPAPERS BUNDLED PROPERLY DOWN?? FUCK SIA.. i was getting stuffs from my boss lorry.. then the first stack CAME.. refer to the pic la.. knn.. i was just ONE STEP away from the next car.. which the newspaper landed on its side.. it was fatal can?? i just can't upload the pic from my phone.. or else u will see hw close it was and the impact of the newspaper on the car.. fucking heng la.. and if u tink first stack.. and no more.. U'RE SO WRONG.. there came another one 3 mins ltr... i got a bloody heng life i must say.. so near lo.. if the newspaper landed on me.. i sure die on the spot.. maybe wun la.. maybe suffer injuries. coz i got big life.. now.. perry dun make me go to his lorry liao.. hahaa... but its too dangerous la... knn de lo...

ice cream life..

2006-04-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

yo.. been long i know but no one seems to give a god damn care about my blog.. so heck it for now i guess.. today went to jurong east ave 1 block 233 there de around sell ice cream.. i guess sooner or later.. whole of hkss will know i'm selling ice cream.. haha.. then saw one sec 2 girll asked her abt pam. but she dun know much. so nvm lo.. kinda sian and sadded la.. but haiz.. guess she will know abt i like her soon.. soon she will know then all i can do now is pray sibei hard lo. hope she... u know de la. she's always so near yet so far lo.. sighs.. i just love my ice cream life now.. haha.. fun peeps.. no girls.. but good thing also.. i can stay faithful.. which i'm planning to la., no more flirt or wad le la.. i just wan pam.. coz her bllody sweet smile can melt my bloody hard heart.. haha.. mushy i know.. but heck.. seriously loike her.. she kinda gained a bit of weight bah.. on the hands.. i noticed.. yup.. will seee how things goes.. soon.. perry gona give me the $4 per hour scheme.. income will be more stable lo.. so ya., i owe so many ppl things.. those bloody spinners.. i dun even dare to sell to firends again. all nt crispy de.. damn perry la... lousy goods.. but sighs.. i'm in need of $$.. now gt about 100 le.. hahaa so happy.. to pam:(though i doubt she know my blog) i just wanna use my this life to love u..

seems long since i last updated..

2006-04-01T13:15:00.000+08:00

kinda been long since i last updated bah.. but none the less.. i'm still alive and kicking. wonder how is everyone doing but i saw them ytd at the concert.. so many memories kinda flowed back and stuff.. sometimes.. ya.. so scared of things now and then.. but old memories are the ones i want.. nt those unhappy ones la.. but kinda remembering gt so many ppl in there know me.. nt bad la. my kor said hi to me... hahaha.. so bloody happy.. tot he forgetton me liao.. so shocked la.. but he seems like nice guy now,. guess NS is really the changing stage bah... concert was so so la. my main objective is to see girl.. and ya so funny la... when i went in with boon and jenny.. got one girl hi-ed me.. i mean wtf la.. okie.. i shld be happy. but i dun recall her. dat's the problem.. but see a lot of girls lo.. but too bad.. onli saw one hkss de girl there.. no more. pam like nt dere.. sighs.. so many things happened nowadays and i dun even wan to be bothered with it.. let alone be involved in it.. i'm so tired le.. seriously.. i am.. but who's to know and who's to care? i somehow feel friends at times are best as they are always around for me.. but sometimes. i feel.. they are the same like my hopeless family.. some la... i see their faces i fuck up lo.. chee bye... i dunno wad i'm thinking la. it just pisses me off.. and to that 'WINNER' dun get too cocky.. i know ur identity and i guess u still dunno abt it.. so.. just fuck off and die.. haha. i wonder hw it is for u to like havin to put up an act in front of me.. not tired meh?? hais.. if only mom nv lose her hp.. then maybe she can advise me la.. but fuck la.. chee bye de. everytime things like this happens.. perry kinda sucked nowadays.. i dunno why.. pearl is still there for me but though she seldom online.. but heck.. better than nothing.. ytd supper was nice.. lol.. thanks mr lee.. yeahness.. just received call.. ltr working again.. hahaa.. with my mom!! yeahness.. woot.. so happy.. the mom at home de.. kinda hecked me for good le.. its a good thing u know? save lots of toruble. i am also sick and tired of explaining.. over and over again.. sometimes.. things are never meant to be.. i guess if dat is nv meant to be.. then it will never be.. i'm so.. hai.. nvm.. mom at home sure to make noise again.. sighs.. heck bah.. i love the job i'm doing now. ya.. seirously i like it.. hahaa.. guess i'll sign off here la.. got things to do.. take care guys... buaiz.;.

new found mom.. haha..

2006-03-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

i got a new found mom guys. and her name is fiona.. the bad thing is she is nt as well endowed as the actress fiona xia.. but too bad.. never mind la.. she seems okie though.. damn noisy as well.. but well.. i guess with her ard.. job dun seem so boring.. and i looking forward to team her again.. hahaa.. had to push my cartel job away.. sorry nxt.. i put ur aeroplane.. but gues u din mind bah.. i prefer ice cream... i'm so sick of changing environment already.. u try lo.. 1 month at nan hua high.. book shop.. then u go to taka work for about 2 weeks plus 3 weeks.. then u do ur family business for 2 weeks.. then u go night shift 1 week.. then ice cream.. then wad? change to restaurant line?? sorrie.. thanks but no thanks.. i gues i had too many a job already.. haha.. everyone's changing and i dun feel the same.. sighs.. maybe dat's how life is.. and i'm still waiting for pamela.. ass.. she's one tough nut to crack.. i admit la.. sometimes i no luck.. but bo bian lo.. guess sooner or later.. but i'm afraid of her having another one already.. sighs.. sales sucked nowadays... na bei.. today took off.. tmr gona work.. fri off again. then sunday off.. i guess no other jobs can let u off so many days.. wahahaha.. i wan my new found mom asap.. as in work with me la.. nt the bgr mind u.. i'm faithful cans? lappy now okie already.. kinda excited lei.. but there no entertainment de.. damn sad lo.. now gt 2 coms machiam busy businessman like dat.. hahaa.. guess life will be more hectic after poly.. as in data in the wrong com.. dat will be damn funny i tell u../ haha.. pam.. i miss u damn much..

cookies and cream sucked.. hahaa..

2006-03-26T16:12:00.000+08:00

yo.. another week had passed.. wonder hw is everyone doing and stuffs... tomorrow starting new job le.. but damn sian.. working hours damn short.. sian 1/2 lo.. i'm considering if i wanna stick with ice cream.. sighs.. he said this coming week will be coming to jurong.. and then.. i might haf a chance knocking on her door.. i dunno.. ice cream.. no need $$ to begin with.. as long as.. u go to the place can le.. but the new job requires my $50.. sad la.. i need advise.. and yuki haven called me.. if yuki called.. then if can neog. maybe i stick to the new jobs.. afternoon go yuki.. night go cartel.. but then.. sighs.. i hate last min calls lei.. i'm afraid ltr if i turn the cartel away and stick to ice cream.. and if after dat.. the yuki call me.. it will be damn cock up la.. it sucks totally la.. i'm lost... ice cream wise.. earned 20 ytd.. though little la.. but if i were to go cartel... everyone either 20 to 30.. only.. plus far away.. and.. ya.. ice creeam de.. can be high.. can be low... depends.. but i tink i'm getting the grasp of it.. i just need more selling exp and i can push my profits higher.. maybe dat's hw they work... hw to compare.. ppl with 2 yrs exp with a guy dat only have 2 days?? but i tot of hw come they can push it so far.. and i kinda know already.. or rather i tot i know.. so ya.. hope.. my thinking is right. i'm afraid of trying to adapt to a new environment like cartel.. thouggh i always adapt to environments like every 3 weeks.. (dat's hw often i change jobs) but i am seriously tired already.. getting of new environments.. sigh.. i seriously dunno wad to do.. there is like no one dat can give me adivse.. mom is saying i shld go for the cartel.. but ex.. and too bloody far.. okie la.. takes abt 45 mins to go there.. but then.. i dunno.. ice cream.. either 20 to 30 mins.. but i only go for the west.. perry (my job de.. nt class de...) seems like nt bad lei.. i dunno.. but who can i turn to for advise now?? denise seems so busy and i dun wan to bother her and everyone is like so bloody stucked up with their jc and stuffs.. i guess i wun bother anyone then.. this sucks la.. ass..

been long my blog..

2006-03-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

its been long since i last updated.. yup.. i wonder how is everyone doing.. been job hunting today.. told so many lies.. whahahaha.. i'm bad and evil.. hahaa.. now waiting for phone calls and stuffs.. yup. i need the money.. to get a phone and stuffs.. i wan more things more clothes,, more shopping.. guess no one spends momey the way i do.. hahaa.. i guess i rocked among my friends who spend money.. well i guess till then.,. rock on.. i go carry on my ff game.. gona complete after like so many years..

campfire?? hahaa..

2006-03-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

yo guys.. today.. is thursday... in case my enttry got submitted over 12 again.. ya.. ytd went down to unit's campfire.. helped out a little.. though fun i must say... i kinda like the wood chopping part.. just make me feel so strong.. and the benches.. LOL.. its like only me yourui and manyu and those our batch and older de.. can carry benches by themselves lo.. i wanna challenge myself soon le.. one hand one bench.. hahahaa.. see when go train.. yup.. then hear the sec 1.. wah.. so strong.. -.-'' cock de la.. then got night walk.. nt bad i must say.. freak-ed me at some points.. but ya.. it was well done.. though make-ups with long fingernails props will be more scary and damn those bloody EXIT signs.. so bloody bright.. totally.. spoilt the dark atmosphere.. art room and science block de.. damn scary... esp jason dat side.. the atmosphere... power.. yup.. i wan more camps.. LOL.. i wan dress up scare ppl.. so fun la.. man.. i kinda miss np again.. ass!!

fucked up la..

2006-03-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

i'm pissed.. seriously.. its like so stress to stay at home... brother throwing a temper when he had some disagreements with his gf and vent it all out me and mom.. fucked up la.. i'm human with feelings too duhz.. so wad if u r the bigger one?? i dun give a shit now la.. practically pissed to the core.. u was in ur room doing ur stuff.. and then.. u had a call.. and u came to the living room knowing i on techno music kinda nt so loud.. then complained it was loud.. then for wad u haf to come to the living room...?? u can't answer ur phone in ur room? ass.. fucked up la.. i used to blast de lo.. ytd already so soft le.. still make noise.. everything u do is right.. and wad i do.. is always wrong.. so.. dat is ur privilege huh?? sorry.. i dun appreciate dat..

and now. to my mom.. it's nt my fault my leg hurt so badly this morning.. i know i promised to help u.. but it is not my fault it hurt.. i'm having medication mind u.. and it is nt like i can foresee wad happen in the future.. it WAS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT HELP U.. duhz.. showing me the black face and all... it's nt my fault.. nobody wan it to hurt so badly too.. u tink i dun wan to see my girl too meh? i dun even know when i will see her in this holiday.. and.. u r paying me mom.. i'm jobless for hw long le.. i need income too.. turning down job opportunites?? crazy.. dat is so unlike me.. u dun seem to understand me after so long.. disappointing though.. i guess i dun haf much to say.. i dun get above the light.. i'm always the one my mom worries a lot.. always the one forbidden to do stuffs. always the one.. that can't think properly.. always wrong.. always accused.. fuck it... i need wine.. beer.. seriously..

woot..

2006-03-11T00:34:00.000+08:00

yeah-ness.. lol.. i spent money like siao.. hahahaa/.. went meeting up with some ex npcc other unit friends.. woot.. was late though.. lol.. i guess it's only normal for me to be late.. then i happened to see a freaking happening sling... kinda hefty though.. but compared to crumpler.. its cheaper a lot. i feel so good la.. crumnpler the ones i saw.. $160.. the one i got now... $70.. can see the difference?? but i gona tell mom it cost some 45 or 50 after discount.. lol.. i'm happy with wad i got.. yup.. more shopping sprees shld come.. i wan shirts and some shoes.. now only left with $200 and i got my own com to do.. plus laptop loan.. man.. i'm thinking of buying one.. but i ain't sure.. i need advice...shoes.. can wait.. but shirts.. it's a must.. so many cool things.. so many things to buy.. man.. i just like it.. haha.. well.. guess i'll turn in for now.. guys.. take care... till then.. rock on.. wahahaa..

pOoL

2006-03-05T00:57:00.000+08:00

yoz.. back from outing and stuffs.. supposedly to go camping at changi old airline road or simi sai de.. with my buddies.. but then some and some gt those tiny weenie things happening.. kinda depressing.. but heck.. there is always a next time.. went to bukit timah there for pool and prata session.. prata damn nice.. hahaa.. though i ordered a lot.. but heck.. wad matters is the taste i guess.. pool damn cheap.. 3.80 or 4.80 per hour.. played for around 3 hours or 4.. pay onli 4.. shared around.. nt bad la.. if go kpool.. have to pay ard 10 dollars.. but i wun deny.. that kpool somehows seemed to be better to play in.. maybe is due to the surroundings bah.. but heck.. can save can le.. i'm happy for now. saddening today saturday though.. no chance to see pamela.. sighs.. i'm missing her already.. i dunno la..

now talk about where i posted to..ngee ann.. song boh.. lol.. mom was like keep asking me to appeal.. though i wan to la.. but mainly to prove i can get into bs if i really wan to.. but.. on second careful thought.. i'm sticking with lem... kinda better.. i refer rountined jobs.. no so much stress then.. yup.. and she kinda stand by it.. relieved sia.. or else everyday at there nag... i also sian.. looking forward to monday and stuffs.. i wan to see her already.. and ya.. sk bday coming soon too.. too many bdays.. too many debts.. sighs.. so how.. i dun even know.. guess i go sleep le bah... like no one online for me to chat too.. sian-ed too. till then.. rock on..

yo

2006-03-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

kinda been long since i last updated.. yup sorry dudes... but i guess no one like give a shit damn about my blog.. haha.. heck la... ranting purposes.. reason why i so free to update.. i nt working le.. LOL... after 8 days of night shift at lousy jurong hi tech with low pay.. i sian.. bloody mike.. dunno he was agent.. confirm eat our money a lot.. night shift 12 hours.. only $67.. ass.. weekends 83.. on sat.. 105 on sun.... weekend rates are like okie.. but piangz... the weekday ones.. kns.. then yesterday night told mike i last day.. then ask for pay.. he still guai lan me.. heck.. leaving for good.. haha.. actually i need to work one more day one.. but i ran away le.. get pay liao.. stilll go work for wad sia.. run. haha.. met one old friend... so funny.... and i kinda loved the way my supervisor talks.. he indian.. from dunno where.. then talking die die also wan to add 'ma' behind.. then his accent... sibei funny.. then sufiyan was saying... teach him hokkien and ask him go say to another girl... terach him na bei... tell him good word.. means pretty.. piangz.... if really teach... i dunno wad will happen.. too funnny le la... i go slp le.. till t hen.. rock on...

another boring day passes by..

2006-02-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

yet another boring sunday.. sibei sian and stuff.. i wan new shirts and stuffs lei. and mom keep complaining.. brother keep having the chance to buy new things.. and i only get to wear hand me downs.. wad the hell lo.. ass sia.. i'm just trtying to save and stuff.. or else i will have gotten wad i wanted ages ago.. life's all about unfairness and stuff.. we dun even have a say about fairness in the first place.. trying to get used to life.. i'll take some time i guess.. no hurry.. just do everything as told and dun try to act clever.. results are undesirable.. lol... practical living example: me!.. now i gt about $700 and i dunno.. should i spend it on handphone or com.. my mom switched off the fan i put to cool my com this morning and my com almost blew.. maybe i should go get my com done or something.. hahaa.. see how.. i'm still lazy for stuffs.. i wanna work.. but i'm lazy to go for interviews.. i want income.. but i'm lazy of getting up early.. i'm stubborn i know.. u can't change me.. people said i change.. maybe i did.. i dun really know. new week starting le.. i tink i gonna do job hunting and ya.. i gona burn some calories.. been long since i done any form of excerise.. i'm fat le lo.. i still wan to jio girl de.. so bo bian. lol..

wonder how is everyone. as in.. those ppl from primary sch and all.. suddenly i like miss them so much.. except some la.. i pound.. i wonder.. i search i lament.. i dunno wad i lament means.. but took it from somewhere.. quote of the day.. 'just living is meaningless... plain fighting is meaningless.. i just wan.. i... wanna win..' yup.. life is abt it.. but after watching fearless.. sometimes.. winning is nt the key factor.. yup.. shall apply logics based on case to case.. right now.. i just wanna have someone to like care on.. shower love on and stuff.. and find a job to aviod seeing my mom so much.. can have lesser conflicts in a way.. yup.. guess i'll sign off here.. till then.. rock on guys..

naggings.. non stop..

2006-02-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

moody again las.. ass. mom keep saying everyone got their own way of working.. i know.. then keep saying mine dun go well.. at her stall.. please lo.. since she can accept the logic.. everyone got their own way of working.. why can;t she accept mine?? strange though.. and all naggings.. i'm getting sick and tired of it all.. man..

fucking piece of shit...

2006-02-11T12:31:00.000+08:00

fucked up la.. asshole.. fucking na bei.. screw cambridge... ass.. i studied damn hard i know.. fucked up lo.. ppl never study much can score like 14.. 18.. 16.. 18.. i studuied like fuck.. did the best i can.. got a 17-20.. kan ni na.. i'm so bloody nt happy can? wad's with 6?? so wad if u gt top scorer? you just haf a bloody cock up face which i dislike.. so wad?? english speaking?? like i care?? your chinese sucked.. i know.. maybe i shld HAHA in your face.. fuck it.. arrogance gets you nowhere.. ten twenty years down the road.. i'll be laughing at your funeral.. trust me.. u will de despised.. looked down by me.. serious. big deal u slept at 3.. big fuck.. uniform groups go camp sometimes all never sleep de lo.. 'wah i sleep at 3 la..' big fuck? i'm boiling le can? just so close i know.. i'm close to my 2s.. if oonly.. everyone saying its over.. i'm nt happy.. i'm thinking of retaining again.. i dun wan to lose.. i wan to win.. get the picture?? i just can't afford to lose.. just can't.. i dun care wad kinda of look i give people.. just dun freaking boast your bloody results and dun you ever dare to look down on me.. if i shall ever see u begging on the streets just seeking one drop of water for survival and i'm the only one around. trust me.. u will be on your way to your so called home.. ass.

Payday

2006-02-08T17:57:00.000+08:00

wooot.. payday.. hahaha.. second pay got $300++ so power.. total i earned around 800 plus.. but i spent a lot le.. ahahahaa.. i'm so much closer to my new handphone.. hahahaa... wooot.. happiness.. i feel so shuang.. hahahaa.. working rocks.. noww i need a second job.. now jobless le.. hahaha.. i enjoy working.. all ex colleagues are like so damn happy to see me.. i dunno why.. lol. results coming le.. scared scared a bit.. but ah jie (god one) told her when doing Os u cfm know roughly hw u fare le.. i guess i also know i fare like hw le.. but u know de la.. coz i dun fare well dat's why scared mah.. hahaa... haiz.. working is fun and stuff.. though now no more pauline to see and stuff.. i dun feel so hurt anymore. i hurt for f?? lol.. just a girl.. yup.. ppl.. i'm SINGLE AND AVAILABLE.. feel free to book me out.. haha.. saw another girl in some sch la. trrying to like know her and stuff... but hard.. see hw it goes then.. maybe i wun haf to sell roses on valentine's day.. guys.. results are nth.. living happily is good enough.. so.. just rock on..

New Year..

2006-02-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

happy new yr dudes.. though my post is kinda late i know.. but kidna moodless to blog and stuff.. thinking of pauline like hell nowadays.. i miss work.. seriously.. i miss it./.. yup.. no lies and stuff... i just hope i can like stay on working in taka and stuff.. maybe i will get to know her and all.. ppl keep saying. better girls around.. better girls around.. man.. everytime say same thing.. -.-''.. maybe dat's the only way to console a broken heart or either.. they had lost faith in me.. yup.. lol. this yr kinda saddening la.. ang bao money so little.. last time is bo chup.. coz mom gives a lot.. now even mom gives so little.. my dream of using the money to get new phone kinda shattered and torn apart liao lo.. so many things to do and stuff.. i just wan more money./. more time.. lesser regrets and more friends.. those around you for goood de la.. and someone for me to cuddle and play with.. maybe to share joy.. laughters.. happiness.. sadness and ups and down with.. dat special someone.. could it be you?? LOL.. no la.. just wan pauline.. to be friend and stuff.. liew eh.. man hunt via msn kinda sian-ed liao.. too hard.. and.. then.. some thing happen.. i guess she's attached.. but i dun wan to like face the truth.. i guess nia mah.. hope is she scared myy beng-ness.. thinking of asking class to like gathering.. meet for lunch and stuff before gg sch on results day.. maybe.. set attire also.. wah.. then will song.. imagine one whole group wearing jeans and same black shirt.. LOL.. sad thing is i lost my class tee.. yup.. shall see how.. kinda still haven gotten over love stuffs..

i got another problem./.. why some peeps ang bao money get so much de.. i wonder like how they do it la.. if only dat can happen to me./. LOL.. i hope so lo. then every year i will have another day to anticipate.. yup.. gg back to taka on fifth feb take second part of pay.. just hope.. she's around and stuff.. i misses her greatly.. and maybe some good news will ring and all. hahaa..
back to pauline.. hmm the more i tink.. the more i feel she is attached.. kinda like at age of 18.. she claims she's buying things to give ppl.. myy age de.. dun practise it lo.. haiz.. guess i sign off here.. till then.. rock on..

pAuLiNe

2006-01-27T00:31:00.000+08:00

hmm new friend made... those stranger friend la.. 18.. dun look like one.. haiz.. LOL.. now like new crush and stuff. yup.. maybe infatuation or wad.. wad's more she's nt online for quite a long time if u know i';m referring to who.. but heck le bah.. i'm just tired.. and sick of everything.. haiz.. i'm screwed..

Yo!!

2006-01-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

yO!!.. been long since i last updated.. yup.. work.. cool.. LOL.. just imagine buying stuffs for free.. LOL.. i gona scam more food.. current hot line.. 'scam food'.. wahahaa.. i guess i rock like hell.. ya.. i'm numb-ed already.. gettting tired of feelings.. yup.. work sucks without girls to look. LOL.. her bday dunno is nearing or wad.. i nv see her online.. maybe i shld just forget her.. ya.. gg off i guess..

FuCked up

2006-01-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

yo back dudes.. gona blog about work and stuff.. pretty fucked up now.. i'm having atttiude already.. f jess.. damn supervisor.. i'm thinking of quitting and stuffs.. practically.. i'm sick of this job le la.. having to run here and there,.. being called and order like a dunno wad.. i hate them can?? guesss i'm the only one who dared to show the ulitmate black face and staring eyes at them.. guess dat's my power move.. LOL.. at least it kinda worked.. after dat.. i was like no longer asked to go to square and promote.. LOL.. damn power. yup.. they made me do this.. i dun wan things to happen this way either.. yup.. its not my fault.. i heck of its my fault.. scammed some food and stuffs.. thanks lala.. though i tink u wun be seeing this.. but heck.. i gona ask for ur number and stuffs.. gonna make more friends.. i can;t lose out to them.. those attyending first 3 months.. they like made so many friends liao cans?? i'm jealous.. seriously..

baby fats.. way to go.. i'm getting sianed and all.. no pool and money mades me a sad guy... i'm bored.. i need entertainment.. any idea how at this bloody unearthly hour?? i'm getting paid like nuts and i'm working like a dunno wad.. seriosuly i hope someday i will faint out of hungry at work and make then seriously change their whole bloody system.. yup.. gona thank those aunties taking care of me and the little cute china girl next door.. ann gonna start work friday at same place.. then i confirmed it was james i;ve been seeing these couple of days.. this only mean one thing.. more entertianment at work (i hope so.. ).. yup.. i wonder hw work will turn out after i made it so clear to jess i'm fed up.. gues i'll sign off.. till then.. rock on..

work work work..

2006-01-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

yo.. kinda been long since i blogged.. okie.. today is monday.. i know it will appear in tuesday entry.. but heck.. and i just wanna say.. i'm late for work.. LOL.. a freaking 2 hours.. hw nice is dat?? imagine the look on my face when i woke up and find the time to be 12:15.. i was like.. wah.. nice sleep... then i look.. wah.. 12 already.. then i freaking realised.. i'm supposed to work at 12.. -.-'' i stayed static for like say some 3 seconds or wad.. then regained my senses and rushed down to taka.. and ya.. i reached at 1325.. like so fast can?? lol.. then just now i timing.. time taken for me to come home from taka.. about 1 hour and some 5 or 10 mins.. dat's fast la.. i must say.. lol.. i always estimated some 1.5 hours de.. now can.. u know la.. lol.. these 2 days.. we hit target liao.. gt commission to earn. they say gt $50 as commission de. but my chef says.. boss is sibei stingy.. maybe give 20 or 30 only.. i dunno la.. see hw it goes.. yup.. and from working.. i gotta conclude one thing.. baby fat girls are so lovable.. just like u know who and those at my workplace.. cute little girl next door (too bad sunday last day and i nv ask for number.. she poly student.. so i guess got stead liao bah..) and lala the malay girl.. also cute cute one.. not forgetting cindy which like nv appeared after i started to get to know her better.. -.-'' no luck.. LOL..

work is fun.. gt wad bala and 'ha-mi-gua' one.. so funny cans?? i gt ppl looking after me.. wahaha.. i'm auntie killer. woot.. i'm proud of myself.. and ya.. i will miss everyone there.. soon after i leave on 27 (gods know if my supervisor will still keep me after i requested to stay on till april today.. ) just hope can stay on,.. though work like madness and little time to enjoy.. but its faast way to kill time.. and i mean damn fast.. though the transport a bit $$$.. coz i using adult.. -.-'' every 2 days top up $10.. damn ex lo.. and ya.. i wanna say one thing.. kl.. i missed u.. online.. yup.. been so bloody long since i tokked to u online.. i dunno if u blocked me or wad.. coz i guess either u asleep already(but u told me u can't put urself to sleep so early) or is u already read my blog (i announced le then i nv see u online ever again).. i hope its nt the latter then.. yup.. looking forward to next gathering and stuff.. but i dun wan to get my results.. coz i know.. it will really mean the separation of brothers and friends. and some enemies (eternal friends and enemies dun exist..) ya.. now just enjoying work life.. though low pay.. but ppl is friendly and stuff.. china gal next door also nt bad looking.. for her age la.. but kinda pity her lo.. everyday work 15 over hours.. her home = factory.. after taka de work.. she go factory make those dough and stuff.. till 1 or 2.. then slp till 4.. do again.. 6.. rush to taka work.. like so tiring.. justt hope she dun collapse or wad.. though i guess she'e been used to it.. well.. a rather long entry i must say.. guess i'll sign off here guys.. till then.. rock on..

second day of work.. -.-''

2006-01-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

back.. damn bloody tired.. job with a pay of $4.5 and stuff.. kinda sian-ed and stuffs.. so many cock-ups.. so tiring and worse.. i puked ytd.. first day of work.. yup.. kinda dots la.. and here no girls to see.. saddening lo.. i wan to work in the square lei more girls to see.. some is chio one lo.. now like working till damn late.. nowadays.. 10.30 pm.. piangz.. so saddening cans?? i need sling bag la. to put tings and stuff.. seriously.. i dun know my job will be like this de lo.. kitchen helper nia... sad sad sad la.. so late then reach home.. all offfline le.. even her and stuff.. i bloody missed her liao cans?? will see hw things go bahs.. i'm tired.. yup.. i'll suign off.. till then.. rock on guys,.

happening sia..

2006-01-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

yo.. know its been days since i updated.. lol.. kinda busy.. with life and stuff.. and i'm getting lazier.. declared jobless on frioday and i nv go for interviews.. only went to one dat is 100% can employ me de.. yup and phone just came.. i'm employed till CNY.. LOL.. better than nothing.. see i told u.. i'm lazy.. hahahaa.. so many things happening lately.. was supposed to get my tee shirts and stuff yesterday.. then met up wqith you rui le.. at jurong east.. a saddening phone call came.. my uncle just passed away from cancer.. then i haf to go to the wake and stuff.. cancelled outing and kinda screewed up a little i guess.. yup.. but nvm.. can save a bit of $$.. it was a rather peaceful one bah..

recallin back.. at seoul garden.. hahaa.. so funny.. indian-muslim.. then the big pig said.. when u wanna eat prok.. u become indian la.. then after it.. u become muslim.. damn dots.. damn funny.. yup.. and ya.. someone commented i looked like milk.. wearing dat cap.. -.-'' blog is so dead.. no tags and stuffs.. awww.. i'm gona announce it.. i wan tags.. whahaha.. damn anticipating.. promotor at taka.. song.. wooot.. i miss all.. i guess i sign off then.. i still gt some errands to run.. cya dudes.. till then.. rock on..

once again..

2006-01-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. she;s back from camp and stuff.. i went back to sch to kind ahelp a bit though i must say i like nv do much lo.. but heck.. at least i gt heart to go back.. then debreif and stuffs and went seoul garden.. yup.. kinda fun all.. mood was kinda high and skin kinda thick.. then.. the worst always have to come.. i dunno why she just like pissing me off.. ZZZZZZ.. bllody hell.. its just one day after my birthday.. then must like dat la?? i need a break seriously.. i just wan to be detached from this pathetic world of mine.. why do ppl enjoy and i suffer??? but why?? and now i need to find a job all over again. i just hope that i can find one dat can be wad i like and i can work long hours.. then will lessen my time of seeing her and stuffs.. i dunno.. see hw it goes..

back to Np... mdm tan is leaving and a lot of things happening though.. i just kinda lost touch of it and all.. wonder hw to survive in the later stages of life.. yup.. parade for the day was a bit kns.. but wad can i say?? thanks to zakiyy who loan-ed me a SWAT cap.. kinda cool and all.. he's da man.. yup.. seriously i'm getting tired and stuff.. waking so early and slp-ing late (or rather i guess i been weak lately).. really weakens one's body.. yup.. and i'm now bloody 17 already.. still haven reach 18.. can;t do a lot of things.. hope 18 faster come then just stay there.. dun move so fast.. 17 is fuck-ed up la.. in the middle of young and mature.. wan to do things also hard.. yup.. i wan my presents leh.. when and where?? i just need a wallet.. a happening sling bag. zippo lighter.. necklace.. and ring.. maybe wristband.. those sliver metal types.. dat's all i need.. shirts wise i guess i get them myself at queenstown.. yup.. i guess it been a rather meaningful day for me with all dat stuff happening.. i'm enjoying it.. yup.. i guess i sign off then.. kinda tired already.. till then.. guys.. rock on..

BoRiNg..

2006-01-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

yo dudes... dunno why i'm so sadded la.. ZZZ.. asshole.. its' supposed to be my birthday.. i'm supposed to be happy.. but i'm not.. its like so.. cock up.. so i dunno.. i just seriously am lost for words.. maybe its due to her abscence.. i dunno.. or was it my way of talking that offended countless people?? i'm nt sure.. i just wanna change.. just wanna be someone loved by all .. okie la.. by most ppl.. i just wan dat.. is it too much to ask for?? why do i keep[ screwing things up and why things haf to happen this way?? am i really a goner?? i'm suppose to lead.. supposed to set an example. supposed to be stronger.. i just feel.. i;m a weakling afterall.. no matter wad i do and wad i tried.. maybe sarah is right.. i'm a sadist.. just not in the mood and i dunno why.. guess i sign off bah.. see ya dudes.. till then.. rock on..

lost..

2006-01-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

dudes.. back.. kinda confused at times.. i wonder if i helped u or i made it worse.. i'm sorrry.. guess i am only good at cock-ing ppl up.. yup.. nvm i shall nt be so involved then.. yup.. my birthday is coming.. soon okie?? friday.. so freaking near.. so many things to do.. so little thing.. i misses sch.. seriously.. i miss it.. nt being able to see ur friends and stuff.. it really hurts.. yup.. ranting only thru blog.. i dun wan to be a nuscience.. i wan to be made known.. i want to be popular.. be remembered... will u guys still remember me after we lose contact?? i wonder.. i just crosses finger and pray hard hard.. guess dat's all i can do for now.. wad else is to be done?? offending way tooo much peeps now.. i'm sorry.. sometimes.. its just me.. sometimes.. its hard to change..

this friday last day at the workplace.. gonna start job hunting once again.. so dots.. i just need income. and long working hours.. maybe by that i can like 'detached' from the world.. and lead a solitary life.. but who knows of it? guess i'm sitll better off alone.. banning of aerosol spray.. by xiaxue webby.. kinda true abt the incidents.. but problem is.. when one gets to such crowded places.. i guess its inevitable.. yup...

my whole body is kinda weakening me.. -.-'' ass.. i'm freaking tired already and my work today was like so easy.. nth.. basically sitting down and waiting for ppl to come and dat's abt it.. easy $ though.. just hope i can like do better and stuffs.. seriously's can;t wait for friday to come.. i miss all... everyone.. i need a de-stress.. guess i sign off now... till then.. guys rock on..

?? school days..

2006-01-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

haiz.. dudes.. back again.. kinda can;t fall asleep.. too many things on my mind.. kinda boreded.. kinda just read someone's blog.. though he is like nt on very good terms with me.. but.. i guess i dunno wad i can do.. maybe feigning ignorance is da best.. yup.. sometimes.. life is like dat?? i'm nt pretty sure myself too.. yup..

was working halfway.. then kinda recalled those good old days of sec. sch.. kinda sad that it all ended so fast.. yup.. i will miss sec sch life.. and nt forgetting mym primary sch life.. so many things... all like gona forget already.. saddening.. why?? why our memorizes are failing us? i tot memory failing only occurs at FF8?? when they uses GF excessively?? then why am i like affected?? maybe i was too naive.. -.-'' okie i am navie la.. can?? why?? someone close to 17 yrs of age cannot be navie arh? asshole.. lol.. sorry zi chao and lydia.. i kinda made u two unhappy and angry... just some language problems and family stuffs.. sorry abt dat.. yup.. and ermm.. i kinda feels empty this year.. seriously.. empty.. i dunno wad to say though.. but being able to tok to her in msn every 2 days or so.. is already good enough.. kinda more than i can ask for.. yup..

i'm turning 17 soon.. all i ask for... is u being able to spend it with me.. maybe if u can just wish me happy birthday.. i could possbily die with no regrets.. haha.. dunno when she will come across my blog.. yup.. hope tmr is a better day or wad bah.. guess i will sign off here then dudes.. till then.. rock on..

yo..

2006-01-03T00:41:00.000+08:00

3rd jan le peeps.. seeing her go to jjc.. kind aheart breaking.. dunno for wad reason la.. but wad i ccan say is.. i regretted.. nt studying hard.. i am scared of results taking.. scred of a lot of things.. i just pray hard.. aunite aileen's words kinda struck me hard inside my heart.. i guess she was right.. but all i wanted to do is to show my mom i;m grown up.. i;m close to 17 already.. just hope she can like give me more freedom and stuff.. i guess she already gave in to me already.. yup.. 31 to 1.. i thon-ed outside.. i guess she knew wad time i was back.... 8 plus in the morning.. and she nv said anyting.... maybe she already allowed it.. or maybe she decided to gave in.. i dun really know.. went to see my forth uncle today.. another one that had cancer.. kinda saddening to see him suffering.. i;'m supposed to recall the past.. about my dad de.. but i never.. i was like deprived of feelings... all my relatives tahan tears until they went out then eyes red red.. even the cold blooded bro of mine haf red eyes.. piangz.. i guess he recalled hw my dad suffered.. i dun recall a single thing.. sigh.. but seeing my forth uncle's present state send shivers down my spine.... totally freaks me out.. hai.. but why? i dunno... hmm.. well.. here's a add on to my resolution..

i'm never gona smoke...nt even a puff.. yup.. i wan to change over.. really change over.. nah.. this dun mean i used to smoke.. duhz.. i'm so guai.. wahhaaa.. i guess dat abt it le bah.. just haf a early bday wish.. i hope she can spend it with me... yup.. though it seems impossible.. hai.. nvm bah.. i guess i will sign off then.. till then.. rock on...

2006

2006-01-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

yeah-ness/./. here we step into 2006.. excited?? lol.. i kinda stunned by the fireworks at the durain.. LOL. damn nice can?? too breath taking liao lo.. i like it damn much.. being able to see her smile first thing in 2006 is really sweet.. though i guess she only wan to remain as friends.. but.. i guess its better than nth.. she said the choclates are nice.. i guess so too.. so much so for 2006... ppl haf resolutoions.. i also have de.. but i guess its hard already... so here goes..

1) trry to change over.. i dun wan to be ah beng liao.. i am nt lo..
2) stop drinking so much
3) try to be more thick skin and jio her again
4) trty to earn as much as possible..
5) cherish the times i gona have with my classmates and stuffs...
6) be more careful with myy handphone..

ya.. i guess dat's abt it.. yup... i wonder wad;s hers.. yup.. kaili.. seriously.. i dunno.. i'm been fond of you for quite a long time liao.. guess i needa change over.. since i know u dun like ah beng type of boys.. you may think its uncalled for.. but i guess.. people will change overtime.. no matter wad happens.. and ya.. i will try to be more strong.. i'm nt a weakling.. i'm strong.. and i wan to win.. ya.. dat's wad bleach inspired me.. yup. i will do it.. i can do it.. just gonna haf faith..
guys.. till then.. see ya ard.. and rock on..

last day..

2005-12-31T00:43:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. last day of 2005 le.. YEAH-NESS.. this means one thing.. CLASS OUTING.. woots... 'confession night' h w does it sound?? hahaa.. kaili ar kaili.. i wonder if u really know i been liking u for ages.. so wad's ur feelings arh?? reply lei.. i wonder.. yup.. hope u accept the feelings.. yup.. whahahahaa.. i;m so in love with u la.. esp ur smile.. can kill ppl de u know?.. i promise i will changeee for ur sake.. try to nt be like ah beng.. yup.. just give me some time.. yup.. lol.. hope to see ur pretty smile soon again after outing.. u will be missed..

Tired..

2005-12-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. been long since i updated.. kinda too tired nowadays bah.. dun even know why.. yup.. last week.. can last till 2 or 3 in the morning then go slp.. now 1 already tired.. saddening case la.. i wonder if it has something to do with my medication.. or am i just thinking too much?? i dun really know myself.. yup.. tmr 30.. or rather.. now 30 le.. wee hours.. then 31 countdown... gonna add oil.. and say those three words.. kinda my first time saying these words face to face.. yup.. hope everything turns out fine.. i already gotten a spare phone from yee chong and a charger from xiaohei.. yup... though is samsung brand. a bit hard to use.,. but nvm.. such a good phone.. hw can i complain?? gt colour and camera.. woot.. power sia.. wahahaa.. i''m so happy.. weee.. heard sch next yr damn early speech day and POP and concert.. worse.. all same day.. i mean wad the hell la.. tink we like to haf more days facing the bloody principal arh?? (*though i nt in sch liao).. just speaking up for those.. ermm.. peeps left inside.. for goodness sake..try to tink about the students can?? bloody principal.. yup.. gueess my entry shall end here.. till then.. rock on dudes.. yup... and rmb.. nt to use such strong words.. coz.. u will be seen as weak..

happy boxing day

2005-12-27T02:07:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. i'm back.. happy boxing day too all of u guys out there.. though the number of ppl who reads my blog is still a quesiton mark. yup.. whaahhaa.. just enjoy urselves dudes.. first 3 months peeps.. lessons gonna start soon.. just enjoy the last few days of ur holidays.. yup.. mom and bro pissing me off like mad today.. so bloody mad at them.. just dunno wad to do. i hecked. i gave up.. lucky still gt ppl arou1nd to encourage me and stuff.. i feel so loved.. LOL.. like so damn bloody gay like dat.. wahaha.. and then now i know how stingy jenny is.. he gt 2 spare phones.. 6600 and 3310.. then only gt one line.. he says he wan to use his V3 and 6600.. can onli loan me his lan bei 3310.. u know wad?? FUCK la.. lol.... bloody hell.. i so hate him now can?? wahhahaa.. just then kinda saw kl online and tokked.. yup.. so fun.. hope everyday can like dat.,. but if everyday can go out with her and meet her will be better.. yup.. i need a second job soon.. kinda cna;t stand my family any longer and i also need income.. i wan a new phone... any good pohone will do. 7260 my old phone also nt bad.. i wan to take care of it better... i somba i wun lose it again.. now i miss my 7260 like hell.. my alarm clock.. gone just like dat.. my numbers.. haiz.. sad case../ but still i tink i can do it.. just a couple of days more i can get back my line le.. yup.. hope everything turns out fine.. yup yup yup.. till then.. rock on....

christmas..

2005-12-26T01:46:00.000+08:00

ello.. ppl.. u guys shld be celebrating xmas and happy bah.. i'm sad la.. my HP lost.. dropped outside taka.. how fucking suay can i get?? plus was on damn low batt.. can;t even on.. fuck la.. chee bye.. all those impt contacts inside.. can fight one can loan $$ one.. all inside.. kuku la. so bloody cock la... asshole sia.. so pissed.... hw can?? why inoluck in picking up handphones de?? why?? why?? why??

BOOO!

2005-12-24T02:15:00.000+08:00

finally! layout done. hahaha.
denise is cute. agree? xD

hee. u can delete this post anyway. just messing around. xP
maybe u could try a smaller sized font.
cos this font u have now don't really suit the new layout.
yeps. hope u lyke this layout i chose.
i think kinda suits u ar. haha. ^^

wah..

2005-12-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

tmr prom le lei.. or rather i shld say.. ltr.. yup.. lol.. got bloody work till 5.. ZZZZZ.. hope boss let me go early like today.. 4 can go home.. so bloody good.. wahahah.. i wonder hw things will turn out.. hope i look good or wad bah... the new hair wax jj and me bought kinda sucked.. sucked like dunno wad.. haiz.. maybe i will use back gatsby bah.. headache arh.. jeans.. or pants.. i wonder..
someone save me......

English and its wonders. sigh

2005-12-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

yo.. dudes.. i'm back.. kinda saddening case for me la.. lol.. tillnow then realised i kinda bought wrong shirt.. ZZZZZZ.. prom.. ppl is long sleeve.. mine short sleeve.. Z.. bloody hell.. dunno wad to do.. i'm like always damn resourceful one.. but now like damn bloody cocked up.. ass sia.. hope everything turn out fine.. yup.. can;t wait for it to come.. i kinda wanna see her in her pretty dress/gown.. yup.. though i guess my feelings for her kinda faded.. but she is still someone impt to me.. i guess..

my pay kinda got increased liao.. 30 to 35.. yeah-ness.. this only mean one thing.. i'm gonna be richer to repayy my $197 debts.. yup.. so kinda nt bad.. more money.. faster clearing of mymy debts.. guess it's a good thing.. today so damn broke.. even can't afford bus ride home.. then gt malay auntie sponsored my fare.. piangz.. so bloody malu la.. all peep on bus looking at me digging for money.. then.. i onli haf $0.40... bloody hell.. too broke.. guess i tmr will top up le.. too malu.. guess i gg off now bah.. tired.. today was almost late.. yup.. well.. guys.. till then.. rock on..

MENTOS!!

2005-12-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

yeah.. my mom bought me one box of MENTOS FROM MALAYSIA.. so bloody cheap can?? then i can like save a lot of $$ on sweets liao.. woot.. wahahahaa... this gonne be a short post.. kinda tired.. today working place.. sibei lot things to do.. packeting and stuffs.. so freaking tired liao lo.. first time i feel tired when i started work.. time.. age have caught up with me.. yup.. hmm.. now one plus le.. she nt online.. and.. anyways.. heck le bah.. i gt some good news.. xiao hei gt second for her N level in sch.. jj also did nt bad.. so.. i guess sometime soon.. maybe haf free meal again.. lol..

welll.. i guess i'm sign off here then.. till then.. rock on..

BrOkE

2005-12-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

yo.. i'm offically broke once again... wahahaha.. i'm like forever plunging in debts.. either i get very rich... or i get very poor.. dude.. hw worse can life get?? think i'm like gotten used to the lifestlye i'm having nowadays.. being rich and poor and rich and poor.. yup.. dat's my life.. today went to boon's house warming.. his bday kinda over or wad.. but still fatty and skinny and me dunno wad to get for him.. saddening case.. plus i'm broke.. hell... gona ask for pay again or thick skin take allowance from mom.. yup.. shall try my luck then.. saw salad's blog.. about relationships.. well i guess she's pretty right in a way.. when ppl ask for advice on love matters.. they somehow still do wad their inner hearts want.. yup..

hmm.. kinda excited for thursday.. prom night.. i'm like the only one.. wearing a short sleeve shirt.. ZZZ.. but nvm.. i tink i look good.. wahahaa... everyone else seems to haf a coat/blazer.. ZZZZ.. heck la.. i'm seriously on budget.. wahahahaa.. i just need a necklace and some rings too.. guess i will be better with them./. yup.. so i'm gg back to queensway shp ctr when i gt the $$.. yup.. so i guess.. i gona sign off.. so long goodbye dudes.. till then... rock on..

ShOpPiNg

2005-12-18T01:33:00.001+08:00

yo...... i'm back.. wahahaha.. from all the shopping... finally found the shirt and the new jeans.. like happy with wad i got.. so happy can?? i can't wait to smile wide on prom night.. lol.. just hope myy ulcer will be recovered by then.. yup.. went to rotted with peeps from class.. and most importantly.. the things are cheap.. total.. i paid 70.. kinda cheap already.. if u go town.. 70 can onli buy jeans.. yup.. kinda plunged into some debts again.. but nvm.. wun be a problem.. just haf to organise more mahjong session i guess.. yup..

i wonder wad's the girls are geting.. hope they can stunn me with their outfits.. in a good and bad way.. i guess some peeps.. no matter wad makeup they use.. wad they do.. they still look ugly. if u know who i'm referring to.. just bloody hope she dun go for prom.. then.. it will be a day of yandao and chio bu's.. yup.. i guess dat's abt it bah.. tmr gt boon house warming.. free food!!!! lol. i'm so broke i can't even afford a meal.. yup.. and mahjong (win money time).. wahahahaa.. hmm.. so.. i sign off now.... till then dudes.. rock on..

Pool-ing

2005-12-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

yo dudes.. i'm back.. wahahaha.. ytd.. thursday night.. boss call.. today off.. (friday).. so yup.... planned outing and stuff.. went to JE for the whole day.. power sia.. never really like JE from young.. its like so sucky..but nvm la.. managed to pool and lan a bit.. yup.. though i pissed someone off again.. i guess i always do piss ppl off de bah.. but friends so long le.. still dunno i kidding de meh?? JJ(my class de).. i hate u la.. forever mood swing... stop being such an ass..

but frankly.. i tink i cannot plan outings de lo.. i planned.. then is my ownself sian-ed. then everytime gt things bound to cock up de.. either ppl pissed.. underaged.. or they wan other things.. or someone else tried to introduce new stuff.. gg to KBOX and stuffs. which i dun really like la.. heck la.. its over.. friday is no more..

JJ(* scouts one) and Xiaohei.. played pool with me.. kinda surprised bah. JE de KPOOL gt so many peeps from our school de.. lol.. stunned to see them bah.. and wad i wan to say.. JE de Kpool is damn bloody cock-ed up la.. birthday haven come.. cannot enter.. cock sia.. causeway de.. as long as one is above 16.. all can go in.. but nonetheless... i enjoyed myyself today.. fun playing pool though i nv win much... but who cares?? as long as i enjoys.. everything will be okie.. yup..i wan more pool sia.. lol.. cheap pool will be the best.. yup.. ahahaa

anyways.. i still haven buy my shirt for prom.. its like its damn bloody near liao la.. cock-ed up.. so how i also dunno..its like.. 5 more days to prom... and -.-'' i dunno.. wondering wad to get.. and dunno wad to do.. life's so sian.. i wan work.. casuseway still haven reply my interview.. bloody hell.. HQs are forever slow in replying.. sigh.. well i guess.. i'll log off then.. till then.. rock on..

hmmm.. another act of hers.. when's it gonaa stop??

2005-12-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

yo.. back from work.. yup.. basically sai kang.. but nvm.. if not.. then wun be hard-earned money.. i am like so looking forward to see the girls selling uniforms lo.. every year w/o fail.. they are chio in a way or another.. sigh.. why can i just haf dat kind of lobang.. work.. and get paid.. and can also see girls.. lol..kinda looking forward to xmas and stuffs.... so many things... to like do and all.. i just can't wait to turn 17 can?? lol..

back to my topic.. another act of her.. -.-'' who else??? my mom.. bloody hell.. friend sell mym xmas card (damn early.. i know).. also wan to open up and see.. its obvious its a card la.. then.. nvm.. open liao.. at least dun let me know u open before la... the sticker sealing the envelope.. also nv stick back properly.. -.-''.. can i haf some privacy a not?? i'm 16 ++ gg to 17 duhz.. if i wanna be led astray.. i long ago no hope le lo.. must wait till this age then go astray meh?? dang.. my bloody good mood is spoilt la.. thanks to her.... just wondering.. if u could give me wad i want for a week.. dun call me dun do things dat annoy me.. dat's all i can ask for.. but apparently.. it seems.. u cannot CANNOT do dat.. so?? wad am i to say??

smile and carry on.. bloody hell.. i'm pissed.. enough ranting for the day i guess.. hands kinda ache.. stupid dictionaries.. can't they make it lighter?? and damn the sec 1s.. so bloody troublesome. till then.. rock on guys.. i'm signing off..

another day passes

2005-12-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

harlo peeps.. this is my first entry.. yup.. okie.. let's begin from Os levels.. nothing much to say.. just glad its over.. the papers are over.. been rotting for days.. weeks.. yup.. class chalet kinda good bah.. i guess.. wad more can we expect?? just be happy with wad we got.. yup..

kinda tired from job huntings.. and i ended up.. going back to the old workplace.. bookshop at some school.. ZZZ.. desperately in need of money mah.. so bo bian lo.. but nvm la.. gt money can liao..
last few days been running to causeway point area... either went friend's house for mahjong.. or went to pool with friends.. yup.. went to xiao hei's workplace for some interview and made some new friends.. jeff, eugene and salad (my pool coach, lol.). yup.. fun peeps.. just praying hard i can get the job as waiter over there.. so i can go home late and dun haf to like.. face troublesome peeps at home.. yup.. dunno gt any god hear myy prayers not.. -.-'' heck.. lol.. must believe in yourself.. ya.. so.. till then.. cya..