Wednesday, March 14, 2007
unhappy day today.. supposedly its my off and i should be happy and all.. day spoilt by mom.. i know my time well enough okie? wah lan.. dun piss me off at times like dat. went ttsh for the followup and asked why my hands tremble so frequently. and doc asked if my family have suffer from dunno wad disease and asked if i drink beer.. then said i drink too much.. binch drinking or so.. and ya then met brother zhao hong and went novena square to walk walk see see someone.. and then went sim lim to get the motherboard but failed. coz too many things i dun know abt it.. then chiong to MS for moive of protege. nice one.. haha.. been long since i watch a moive and esp a nice one like dat.. haha.. then smoked one cigg.. been told to excerise to maintain my movement range and stuff. but ya.. see how things go lo might have to re clock my body and slp early then fo excersie b4 i go to work and stuff.. shall see hw everything goes.. i dun wan my body to fail me and stuff. its freaking scary when my hands trembled for a couple of days and when i spill desert over i decided that its something that must not be overlooked.. too scary alr.. haha.. i wan to be healthy kid but then sometimes it seems.. difficult.. i dun even wan to have chronic artrithis u know? i wan to be happyily healthy and alive and kicking.. get my point? sometimes i admit i hate myself for smoking and drinking.. i hate myself for the things i did.. but i dunno.. its like i dunno hw to explain it all.. i dun even know wad i am gg thru. ppl say everything is under ur own de control.. but loneliness can make one lose their own sanity.. i dun have sanity to begin with. and with dat.. i guess i have become a dunno wad.. i am scared.. seriously..